'¼ šоûⁿđ™' ⁿ ''¾ ώίĹ3ύ®"

2012

2012-01-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

And the other Mayan said to the other,

"We could go on and on, being a calendar."

"Let's stop here, this will freak someone out in the future."

So here we are!

2012, what a amazing year it has been.

And I'll tell you why.

Started the year with a last race towards the exams.

Did well and sooner than I had thought,

I am back home for good.

So much has change,

and change is good.

Welcomed home.

Got into SOTA and met great people.

Became a regular at Amplify,

and joined Hospi!

It really has been an exciting year.

Although, recently I've felt lost.

I've always had someone there,

someone to talk to and discuss the wonders of life.

Perhaps I am getting too old,

what wonders are there when all have been seen and discovered.

Then again, so much left not figured out.

Still waiting Lord,

and I heard you yesterday.

Have patience Wilbur.

You have a plan and that's all I need to know.

I can't sleep tonight,

you make me high.

Nothing left to say,

but I love you. =)

Bur.

God BLESS!

Stuff I hope you've figured out by now.

2011-12-31T00:48:00.005+08:00

I don't have the answers,

but I swear one day I will.

We weren't feeling it,

the atmosphere was tense and disorientating.

You forget who you were,

and went with the crowd.

That was perhaps our last real conversation with each other.

And I hope you've figured out by now, everything you questioned that night.

And perhaps it's my turn to figure things out.

I understand now, what you were going through.

That's not me, and you know that too.

I followed you out, I looked around for you.

Found you sitting on the grass, waiting.

It was quiet,

you broke the silence with a question.

One that caught me by surprise.

Maybe it was the chemicals kicking in,

could not think, could not take you seriously.

But I was there, a listening ear was all you needed, maybe.

"Why do we feel envy, it's such a disgusting emotion to feel..."

We sat there together,

in my mind I was scrambling for an answer.

And as always, I am not wise at all.

What a silly and defeated reply I gave...

"I guess it is a sin we have to live with and control."

You left that night,

looking back now,

I figured out what you were referring to.

Silly me,

always one step behind.

I am me.

I placed my hat behind me,

and rested my head on it,

the grass was soft and the sky was dark.

I don't remember the sky,

But I did remember thinking,

a lot.

And perhaps I did find the answer,

I don't recall.

But if it's the thought that counts.

A memory, I want to fill that void with.

It would be that,

As I looked up to the heavens,

I prayed.

For wisdom.

Bur.

It's Christmas eve.

2011-12-24T02:31:00.003+08:00

And one things on my mind.

I won't know now.

I never do find out anything till later.

But I'm glad I have you.

The life I want to spend with you.

I can spend hours imagining our lives.

Sitting there like a fool in love.

But that's me.

Bur.

We are who we were when.

2011-12-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

Can't help but to entertain these thoughts.

Pen down, or whatever it is.

Take a photograph, journal it down,

for life is a miracle and is to be remembered.

In this spark of existence,

influential it surely is.

So remembering from now on, wouldn't be that bad.

Christmas and new year is approaching,

the holidays started off pretty productive.

It slowed down after my Dad came back from Abu Dhabi for a visit.

Perhaps it's due to me planning for Christmas.

Speaking of which, kinda nervous.

It's time to show what the new generation of teenagers can do.

And not much actually haha!

Been having a lot of nightmares recently,

probably due to me not attending Amplify or going to mass.

I need God in my life that's for sure.

My mind is telling me this.

Awaken would have been perfect for me.

I want what they have, I need it.

Although, I can never picture myself in the Awaken camp.

A religious retreat that allows people of wavering faith to encounter the grace of God.

I just can't see myself, dancing, singing, experiencing out of this world events.

Every sense of my body tells me that it's all a trickery or self-belief.

Why not tear down this wall of skepticism.

Why not now.

A sigh of relief after every nightmare.

Woken up at least twice per night.

Sometimes I'm frightened to sleep.

Wonder what's wrong.

Keep believing and praying,

things will work out.

After all, I have everything.

Bur.

Now we both have separate lives and lovers,

insignificantly enough we both have significant others.

2011-11-28T01:49:00.002+08:00

Away.

The holidays.

2011-11-10T14:42:00.003+08:00

Sota is a very busy school.

It's a wonder how I can still post at a time like this.

I guess one of the perks of being sick is that I can push back my obligations.

Than again, whose fault was it that got me sick?

Who has the weak immune system?

Who did not take good care of himself?

Me.

First week of the holidays.

Today is Thursday.

Regardless of how I feel today, I will start reading Macbeth.

I've got to stop reading Catch-22... =(

There isn't any time left to waste.

-I've got 2 Macbeth books, one book on art interpretation.

-Visit 4 independent exhibitions/museums, document and reflect on all of them.

-Do 4 independent research on new media art and artist from South East Asia.

-I still have to complete the math homework sitting on my desktop.

Time to exploit my brother who's lying on his bed. ;D

His good in math! Haha.

It always bothers me how bad I am at academics.

It seems like the intelligence among the siblings declines as we go down the ages.

My brother is pretty intelligent.

My sister is really good in non-science stuff,

she's probably the only one besides my dad who's bilingual.

And than it came to me.

I have a theory on why I came to be like this.

But that's just the cowards path, the diffusion of blame.

So let's just say I am just really lazy.

Now you would assume my little sister, Winoa would be the least intelligent.

On the contrary, I guess my parents realised the pattern

and forced my poor sister into some major hardcore tutoring,

tutoring that none of us as children were exposed to.

I guess in the long run it will benefit her.

But I wouldn't change a thing of what I've become.

I enjoyed my childhood of playgrounds and television.

And now is the time to pay the debt.

Got to go.

Bur.

God bless you soooo much!

Making sense.

2011-10-23T21:55:00.004+08:00

A tug of war I agreed to,

but ain't pulling.

Is it ever possible.

To disobey the laws of nature.

Can't we all just sleep all day.

Gave a countless of ropes,

and ain't pulling none of them.

Going nowhere, I guess that's what I wanted.

Been straying from the path again.

The reason?

I do not know.

But somethings are making sense,

like a puzzle, all tangled and dangled from the ceiling.

I've got time, but I'm too lazy.

So tired, finding Amp not helping much.

Not like how it used to be,

perhaps I've got too many distractions.

Just big you and I,

just remembering the times,

I need a friend.

I have no idea.

Bur.

Oh I Pee. Chicago.

2011-10-20T00:02:00.002+08:00

Welcome back, salutations!

Back from Chicago, and what a experience it has been.

I find myself looking back now, and realising how fast and what a blur it was.

There was a moment when I woke up on the returning flight,

questioning myself "How long more till Chicago."

Chicago, is perhaps one of the best representation of a modernised state of America.

A state in which freedom is of upmost importance,

regardless of the different pros and cons we can discuss,

what we can do is just learn, recognise and be grateful for what we have, wherever we are.

Chicago is a fascinating city with much history.

Art so well respected, tourist flock from all over the world.

Recognising that Chicago is a booming place for art.

I constantly find myself comparing the hustle and bustle of Singapore

to the relaxed and serene attitude the folks there had.

At night, after dinner, my host family would take us out of dessert.

Walking to town and selecting a suitable sit down for a heart to heart chat.

Without worries or questions about business, no money talks,

no life lessons to be heard, just dessert with friendly faces.

Of course my curiosity of politics in America would kick in,

and a flow of perspectives sink in as I sunk my teeth into ice-cream.

I might be all wrong about Chicago and America,

after all, all I saw was one side of it.

It was pretty scary at night, and I did miss the protest that happen whilst there.

The side only a few lucky individuals will ever get to experience.

And by luck I mean safety in blessings.

All around I see poverty,

whether it is driving through run down neighborhoods,

to giving spare change to beggars or artist.

I find it hilarious when I rather give my money to beggars than the man who was making my ears bleed with his sax.

The poverty really hits you hard,

and strengthens my grateful heart.

Now after writing this blog post,

I realised I've not mentioned much on questions many people would have.

Food? People? Students? Art?

Not that those aren't important but,

what I cherish most out of the trip is the bonds I've made,

not just with my comfortable home, but with my friends.

And the knowledge I've gained the past 10 days.

God Bless,

Bur.

Exams.

2011-10-02T23:27:00.003+08:00

English Literature exam tomorrow.

It's currently 11:28 PM.

I'm playing Two Door Cinema Club

while my bro is playing Phoenix Wright on his Iphone.

Woke up this morning.

I had dreamt that I had a little brother of the age of 2.

His name is Wesley according to my brother and I.

Wesley is a cool name =)

Headed off to morning mass,

the priest... I couldn't understand a word.

His accent was just incredible.

Life has been getting mundane.

Probably due to the exams and everyone stressing out.

I "shate*" mundaness...

(So hate)

Later in the day I headed over to Ethan's house for EL lit tuition with his mum.

She was incredibly friendly =)

Hmm...

One question that she asked during dinner was about the future job thing.

Honestly, I don't really know what I want to do.

Everyone keeps insisting I study and earn big bucks for the future.

Big bucks, cash, the lettuce...

Why are we so dependent on it.

"To raise your family" he says.

What family...

I say,

With God's love,

is it not enough?

Is it possible for me to live alone.

What is this wanting for companionship?

What is the source and can I remove it?

There are millions who need and seek this love I have, and I'm so far away.

Can a priest love others and his fellow man,

if he himself is not in love.

How can he understand families and their troubles.

Something to think of.

"Never stop thinking" he says.

I agree.

My mind has been too passive lately.

Accepting the way things are,

not questioning constantly anymore.

In fact I kinda miss the arguments my Dad and I had.

I knew so little, and yet I tried to understand too much.

But...I feel so....

The more I understand, the more dormant I become.

The more I understand, the less questioning I become.

The more I understand, the anxiety is no longer there.

The more I understand, I am blend and emotionless.

The more I understand, the more boring my life gets.

The more I understand, I question why to live if life is about learning.

The more I understand, the harder it is to find myself once again.

The more I understand, I am no longer the Wilbur I once knew.

Bur.

3 test.

2011-09-22T22:16:00.004+08:00

Three test.

The frustration,

I say this countless of times.

To everyone and it seems that I am rusting.

I feel like a broken cassette tape.

Why can't people understand.

Why don't people understand.

There are far greater things that are of importance in life.

And if you don't realise that soon,

you will be one sad adult.

The pride,

"Do you have shame?"

I think the question should be, "Are you proud?"

And to that, I say no...

Human, humble, humility.

From the earth we were made by God.

From dust to dust.

The anger,

revenge, hatred, or even prayer for retribution.

I find hard to accept and forgive that they don't know.

My heart tells me to pray for them,

my mind tells me that they'll eventually get hurt bad.

I guess these things will take time.

And we all want to understand why,

evil lives and good men die,

on the way to heaven the truth unwinds.

Amplify me.

The end,

God bless

Bur.

That awkward Friday.

2011-09-17T10:31:00.003+08:00

As some may know,

I like to stick to plans and have plans.

A pattern, a direction.

Without them, I feel so lost.

That's exactly how I felt yesterday.

Friday.

It was after school,

I walked down from the 10th floor,

not knowing what or where.

Normally right after school,

I'd be heading of to my weekly praise and worship,

Amplify Fridays!! =D

Unfortunately, the leaders had to go to a retreat.

So us unleaders such as myself, were like lost sheep.

Haha, exaggerating.

So I stayed in school for about an hour.

Figuring out where to go.

In the end I was invited out by some friends to go to a film festival later in the evening.

But before that,

I headed over to Anri's place with Alana.

It was kinda cool how Anri lived so close to my house.

Rio Vista? Sounds familiar?

Yep, the condo that I detest upon its construction.

Obscuring my view to one of the most awesome rivers and grass lands I used to have.

I never got the concept of condominiums,

or any private estate for that matter.

It just feels so, closed in and disconnecting to the rest of the world.

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

We hung around in her room WITH ALANA.

Her little sister was at home too and there was a poodle.

I learnt how to use a camera

and figured out briefly what the shutter speed can do.

Very interesting, I feel like picking up my DSLR and playing with it haha.

It was getting kinda late,

and Alana and I were pretty hungry,

too bad delivery takes up to an hour to arrive, so both of us just went home.

On our way out,

we walked towards the gate and the security guy spoke to us in Chinese.

I kinda understood him, however Anri and Alana couldn't.

So as most people do,

they apologise for not being able to understand the language.

"你们不同这么讲话语，不要来新加坡 la...." < Security guard.

Upon hearing that I was kinda furious.

Like being a "Singaporean", he should know how multiculturally diverse our country is!

Sigh, well he was old. Probably senile.

Had a nice walk home from Rio Vista to my blk 345.

Cutting through blocks and gardens,

visiting the vanished playground that Joel and I used to play together as toddlers.

Haha,

got home and got ready for the film festival.

And that my friends, is a story I pinky promised not to tell anyone.

God bless.

Bur.

Oh slow down.

2011-09-06T00:10:00.004+08:00

Hello world.
Have not been blogging a lot lately.
Been so busy and tired.

Catching up with friends,
getting to know new friends,
it has been one hell of a ride.

This adventure I'm currently progressing through.
Not sure where's it going, but
I do not like where it is heading.

Three years...
but why does it feel like I'm going to be here for a really long time.
Why does it feel this way.

Do I want a pattern in life?
Or do I want some spice for colour.
Both seem welcoming, but right now I can't really decide.

Considering the fact that I don't even know myself anymore.
What am I and what do I stand for?
I need to find that fire again...

Went out early in the morning today.
Around 8a.m. I reached Haas' house.
Been so long since I last saw him...

He has grown both up and side to side xP !!
I guess I speak for myself too =P

Went for a swim in he's dipping pool.
Around 2m by 3m pool haha, pretty small.
It was amazing how we came up with activities to entertain ourselves in that small pool.

First we just tried to get unto floating beds.
Next we excercised a little haha.
And finally we just decided to wrestle and throw the floating beds at each other! xD

Got pretty cold so we went back in and played WWE 2011.
Haha, he's pretty much obsessed but hey it was my childhood too...
=/ Oh if Kong kong was still here ahahaha!!

Soon we went to meet Rafeh at Al Raha mall!
And boy was he reading when we found him xD
We caught up quite abit.

Telling me about his summer and same for me.
Turns out we both hadn't changed much.
But it's only been 2 months so...

Ended the day going back to Haas' house and swimming again.
Gerin joined us and it was fun. =)
Ooh and we had a new game...monkey in the pool.

Well...not really monkey.
More like wrestle for a tiny bouncy ball.

What a wonderful day.
Big day tomorrow too.
I'm exhausted.

I miss these kind of days.
Where we would just go out to have fun.
Without curfews or parents.

Just a few guys hanging out and having fun.
But still, there was something bothering me.
Something back in Singapore.

It's tiring me out.
Draining me...
and I don't know what to do.

At the back of my mind.
Where I keep my virtues divine.
Stolen from my soul.

Just take me as you go.

Wilbur.

Family.

2011-08-28T16:02:00.000+08:00

Wow, what a week.

An awesome week followed by two birthdays for my cousins.

Once again, Amos and Valerie, have an amazing birthday and God bless.

I've got an awesome family.

I'm really thankful for all of them.

Too many to name.

I am humbled to be surrounded by such amazing people.

Constantly encouraging each other,

can't help but to love them even more. Haha.

Oh and btw,

by family I mean including my relatives.

In my book, I consider them as my family.

Slowly watching each other grow up.

Cautiously caring for them and nudging them in the right directions.

Kong kong must be so proud.

Oh Kong kong,

you have no idea how well you have done.

Thanks for making us catholics.

Miss you!

Bur.

God bless.

You are not alone in this.

2011-08-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

As brothers and sisters,

we will stand,

and we will hold your hand,

hold you hand.

Good morning Abbah Father.

Cold is the night.

The dark and moonless sky.

The lost we feel in the empty street.

Let me built this hill with sand.

I saw it fall,

it was splendid.

Let me built this mountain with snow.

I saw it thaw,

it was dazzling.

What now do I built and with what.

3 years is not a long time.

But in 3 years many things can happen.

I could lose myself.

I could find my identity and way of thinking.

I could just waste it all away.

Break yourself and wake yourself.

Reflect and reflect, over and over again.

There's so much more to know and find.

Never stop searching.

Right now, at this moment 21 August 2011.

You are still lost, you need your own mindset.

Do not take bits and pieces of bias paradigms.

But from dust, make your own.

Find yourself.

And maybe, in the future.

You can guide not only yourself.

But others.

I want to help others.

But without wisdom and self assurance.

I can do nothing.

Think, reflect, think deep.

That's all I can tell you.

Bur.

God bless and good luck.

Sentosa!

2011-08-10T19:41:00.003+08:00

What a nice day =D!

Got to hang out with Ethan, Jian Hao, Loyd, Becky, Kaising and Elaine.

At Sentosa!!

Wow, how long has it been since I've been there.

4 years ago?? xD

So much has change.

We began the day all meeting at Harbour Front MRT station.

Was kinda lost at first, couldn't get my message reach Ethan for direc

tions.

Luckily like after 5 minutes of wandering around, Becky arrives!

She had to buy something for a friend haha.

So I tagged along.

Was kinda in a rush, did not want to be the last people to meet the gang.

The funny thing was that we were the first two,

and the rest of the gang was late haha, very late.

Soon came Loyd, Jian Hao and then Kaising.

Elaine wasn't there yet,

we met her after the first go at the LUGE!

It was fun haha.

Kinda short though.

On the first round, I was kinda getting used to the luge

and I came in last xD However, on the second round,

I was tail to tail with the big boys! Loyd and Jian Hao, I came in th

ird! =D

After the Luge we headed to the beach.

Changed and totally IGNORED ELAINE'S WARNING TO PUT ON SUN BLOCK.

So guess what, I'm currently burning.

It was good swim,

not sure if there are jelly fish, but no one got stung haha.

But does anyone know what are the white stuff on sea weed inside th

e little bubbles?

We were poping them and Kaising had some of the stuff irritating her skin. =/

After a good swim,

and realising I had a really bad burn.

We decided to ditch the sea and head over to the 4D ride,

the log ride thingy haha.

Quite interesting,

but it didn't have the thrill of vertigo or falling haha.

Wouldn't want that anyway haha.

Finally we bid farewell to Sentosa and headed to Star Bucks at Vivo for some coffee.

Or in my case, left over Coca-cola!

Oh and Elaine had a really cool Polaroid camera!

She spent $15.50 for 10 pieces of Polaroid slides! OUCH!

Luckily she could pay by NETS and not withdraw some from The Bank of Ethan!

We used 9 of the 10 slides during the sat down.

Haha it was really fun.

Wonder what she's gonna use the last one on...

I'm so burnt right now.

Gonna ask my mum to put some Aloe Vera on moi haha!

Cause that's what mums do for their sons! =D

Probably gonna wear a hoody to school tomorrow xD.

Sooo burnt.

God bless people!

Thanks Ethan for the amazing invite! Was very surprise, and I got to make some awesome new friends! Thanks and Happy Birthday!!!

Bur

Happy national day '11

2011-08-08T16:53:00.004+08:00

I'm a human being

Being happy and sane

Oh but human beings

we all need to quit

being inhumane

I don't want to say I'm right,

I just want you to know.

I think it's safe to say that everyone wants an identity and a belonging.

But I want to know why,

why do we have to hold on to something,

and try to be proud with it.

I'm no patriot,

I believe giving your life for the state is in my opinion not worth dying for.

I am a human being, of this world.

I don't like belonging to a certain country.

What benefits does it provide to me emotionally.

This land I stand on has been through so much more,

and we decided to claim it as our own.

We have a burning pride for this state.

But we can't even take care of one another.

And you can't see past the blood on my hands

To see that you've been aptly damned

To fail and fail again.

We have political divisions to attain "peace" within society,

and ostracise any trouble makers in the lot.

It's not solving anything,

instead unbalancing the power between countries and giving the people more pride.

I am very fortunate,

terribly terribly fortunate to be born in such a life.

I find it so difficult to think what if...

Cause I will never know how'd it feel.

To be standing on the outside,

looking in.

And as the flags are waving,

and hearts screaming,

I will not be part of your community.

Instead, just someone looking in.

And only some will ever wonder, what about them.

Bur.

God bless, Singapore.

Amplify Yesterday!

2011-08-06T16:06:00.002+08:00

Got home, sweaty.

Arms full with leftover Nachos and dessert cakes.

Back a few hours earlier.

School had just ended,

everything was kinda hectic.

The teenage mind is a dangerous place to be is all I can say haha.

Walked down the incredibly long escalator of the school.

And another one...

Headed over to the giant steps of the school and sat down.

The sun was high in the sky.

The school was shading me from it's light.

The wind was cooling and simple.

From my view of the people and the cars going by,

I looked down towards my phone to see where was Ryan.

Turns out he exited from Plaza Sing haha.

It took him about 10 minutes to reach me.

Finally a familiar face,

someone to trust and someone to talk to.

I told him about my week,

and what I had done today.

We shared and shared, until the sun was in sight.

To my right was a giant light.

Warming me up, the wind was slight but fine.

Slowly the light crept over all my body and was heading for Ryan who was on my left.

I asked him if we should go,

and we left.

Now in Novena,

sitting in TCC.

Listening to a mix of Hillsong and MCR.

Waiting for Daphine who was a tuition.

Fascinated by the water lines behind me.

The precision of each water stream.

It wasn't possible.

Water can't flow downwards like that,

I stretched out my hand only to realise that the water was flowing down a string haha.

Soon Daphine arrived and we switched seats to the booth she had reserved.

A sudden scream came from my right,

and she was holding on tight.

I was pretty afraid too.

What consequences were there if I were to pick the green caterpillar up.

Regardless, taking me around 4 seconds to make up my mind, I grabbed it and threw it out of TCC.

After dinner we headed of to Amplify.

And the rest was history.

God bless,

Bur.

Amplify tomorrow.

2011-08-04T18:15:00.004+08:00

Something strange is happening.

Everything seems to link,

like everything in my life.

First a girl I know called Hui Min,

she is the friend of Ryan's ex.

Next a girl named Claudia,

was surprisingly Kurt's sister.

Ryan's friend Kesley was the talk subject during break today.

Everyone seems to have mixed views about him.

But I believe he is a good fellow.

Tomorrow after school,

I think Ryan's gonna pick me up.

I hope so haha!

Maybe I can even show him around! =D

That'll be awesome!

Hope he picks me up!

Thing's in school are moving really fast.

Both the studies and the relationships I'm making with more individuals.

Don't think I can keep up.

Getting really tired.

Probably stressed about the most hilarious of things,

like forgetting a person's name.

Everyone is just really nice.

And I don't think I can follow up with their expectations.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Built friendships slow.

Let it grow,

so you know which is true.

This is my second chance,

time to do this right.

This train is going too fast.

I can't see what's ahead.

Please slow down.

SOTA and Singapore

2011-08-02T18:49:00.003+08:00

So much has change since I got back.

Maybe for the better.

I'm no member of the government, so I have no say in this

"democracy".

Not sure if it's just me,

but I feel that Singapore is getting more competitive,

and this competitive environment we live in together is startin

g to distort our emotional capability to care for one another.

This is just my personal opinion,

nothing more. I may be wrong,

cause I'm a really REALLY, naive and gullible person.

For example, when I was walking back home today,

A guy shot a three-pointer at the basketball and missed.

The ball bounced off the hoop and away from the court.

I was in front of a women and her kid.

I turned around to see where the ball was heading,

I wanted to run for it but it was too far away,

giving up thinking that the lady will grab it and throw it back.

Instead she carried on walking,

knowing the ball was coming her way.

Just went passed her.

LOL.

Maybe I'm expecting too much,

can you imagine a 30+ year old mum,

catching a basketball and passing it back....

Well, whatever.

SOTA!!

Really really funny and friendly is all I can say.

Not sure if people are only friendly towards new meat.

But, I've mixed around with a couple of groups and cliques and, some don't seem very nice to each other.

Not me, but to each other.

Perhaps I'll see the true nature of the students in a few days time.

Hope it's not so bad.

But seriously, the people are sooo nice to me.

Two girls Charmaine and Alethea... unique name

gave me a CHICKEN! LIKE A CHICKEN WING, SINGULAR.

That totally pwns!

Anyways...

School ended at 3,

went to the book store to get the P.E attire,

cause their uniform is unsweatable.

So stuffy and hot!

Went to the MRT, met...

Amelia, Ang Qing and Valerie from SOTA.

Nice girls! =)

Went to Seng Kang to grab "Chemistry Matters" from Joel.

Cause for some reason Chemistry actually matters haha!

Nevermind... = =

Turned out that Jo was feeling under the weather and was at Seng Kang Polyclinic.

Dropped by a sat with him.

Discussed stuff that's happening in SOTA,

good stuff. =D

Went back to his place and got the book.

Discussed more about economics and world news.

How society in Singapore is changing due to the competitive atmosphe

re.

Finally went home.

I really need to start remembering names.

For some reason, everyone's face just go fuzzy in my mind.

And names jump everyone, not enough sleep maybe.

All in all, great second day.

Thanks God, and thanks to the people who are constantly encouraging

me.

You know who you are you bobos.

God bless and BYE!

Some things are changing.

But some things just never change.

How I met your mother.

2011-07-25T21:40:00.003+08:00

...It turns out all I had to do was make it rain.

As I rode home the next morning the city looked the same,

the people looked the same, it all looked the same.

But it wasn't.

In just one night, everything had changed.

I constantly tell my friends and myself,

I am not smart, I do not have an extraordinary capability of understanding.

I tried to force it into everyone else's head that it wasn't me who was smart.

I just had a really really long head start.

So long that I learned barely anything new.

At most the last year of my stay.

All I can evaluate now is that,

with all the false humility, inside perhaps I was proud.

All with that pride, I forgot the reality of what I had left behind.

Pride, pride, pride.

Perhaps the most awful thing I'm dealing with right now.

Using big words to make myself sound smart.

This is reality, right here in Singapore.

Out of the bubble and faced down, humbled at the sight of everything I left behind.

All I can do now is have faith and work hard.

There's one difference from the Wilbur 3 years ago,

and the Wilbur right now.

Faith.

Much more of it.

And I'm hoping this will be the critical difference I need.

The funny thing is that faith only grows if you believe it does.

Good night and God bless.

Bur.

Sleep!

2011-07-14T15:49:00.003+08:00

So here's a recap of my summer/no schooling days, up to now.

Been sleeping really really late.

Honestly, I don't really like it.

Tonight, I'm going to try sleeping at 10.

Have been hanging out with cousins a lot.

Friends are in school haha.

Currently waiting for more information on my audition for SOTA.

Kinda nervous,

never been on an interview before.

Especially the math test,

been song long since I've done Singapore math.

I wonder if I can solve the problems.

Well, I'm looking forward to amplify on Friday.

Really miss my cousins haha.

I want to hang out with the hospitality team more.

Having been so long since I've spoken to some of them.

Kinda nervous and awkward.

I need to pray for something.

I really need to.

God bless everyone,

Bur.

This is noise.

2011-07-14T02:10:00.003+08:00

2:10 A.M.

And we hear the keys,

the door who's in need of oil squeaks.

While people sleep,

animals turn their heads round.

To get a better image with both sight and sound.

Down the stairs we'll go,

it's easier than going back up,

so there's no turning back.

Into the car,

We drive and drive,

till no more city lights.

Pulled over and off goes our headlights,

and there they were,

still bright as always.

But something feels different,

like the night was dark,

and the warmth from you was now a spark.

Reaching out for warmth,

but all I felt was wind,

passing through my hand.

This pleasure was only but short.

The stranger was here,

pulling me aside.

He dragged me back.

Now I see a light,

and warm wind rushed towards me,

I am home.

For there is a light that never goes out.

One shake of the mane.

2011-07-04T02:03:00.003+08:00

Perhaps it was all pride after all.

The fact that I see myself as the only one willing to give my life for a complete stranger,

made me arrogant.

It's just that everyone around me wants me to be something or someone.

Like I have to have an identity.

And a fixed and ideal sense of responsibility and doctrines.

I am a catholic, I see many non-Catholics doing good things.

And what if I wasn't born into a Catholic family,

and everyone tells me it is a true religion and I do see good in my religion.

Won't I not budge when proven wrong?

I don't like seeing or classifying people into race, ethnicity and strongly by religion.

I would never judge someone based on these superficial classifications.

I believe everyone is good and religion may or may not play apart in their morals.

But regardless,

I see you as a human being, through the eyes of another human being.

However...

This constant pondering of mine has thought me something.

That perhaps I've forgotten the one important starting point that triggered my race

for a graceful, accepting and loving world.

It all began with God.

God started it all, genesis, religion, my parents, Joel, Rafeh, me, awareness, kindness, tolerance, prayer.

And somehow, I had lost it all.

And now I realised I am neither happy nor living with a joyful heart.

I've seen so many wonderful and miraculous things in my lifetime.

How can I deny the power of God?

Who says my drive for equality or acceptance cannot be driven by both religion and activism.

With God on my side, perhaps I can achieve more.

I realised that now.

Tonight,

I was incredibly frustrated,

looking for a school, a course, a job, a life.

It's all really complicated.

I was and still really confused.

In the peak of my frustration,

My dad said,

pray for guidance from God,

ask him to show you which path to choose.

I looked at him and almost cried with joy.

For all along, this was what everyone was telling me.

Guidance from God, guidance from God.

Is it so difficult to humble yourself?

Now, I just wonder if I will ever see anything like some do.

Never experience encounters with the holy spirit.

Just a sinner with doubts and lack of faith.

Will I be scared when God speaks to me.

Or will I bask and be filled with his glory.

And the chapter closes.

2011-07-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

So here I am.

2011-06-17T17:09:00.003+08:00

So here I am,

from back then.

Restless and slightly nauseous,

probably wasn't the best thing to try.

But we do anyway.

Cause that's how we grow and live.

So how much have you grown.

How are you a better person 2 seconds ago.

I find the feeling of regret my dad expresses

when having made a wrong decision to change lanes

behind a slow driver peculiar.

What is regret,

a emotion we feel when we had made a wrong decision?

No.

We regret to help us change for the better.

Because we can become better.

I find my dad having regret over such an incident weird.

Is it still regret when obviously the randomness of that event

happening prevents him from making a better choice next time.

Is that still regret?

What he feels.

So here I am,

from back then.

The sinner back then,

from back when I had sinned.

We are children,

and living a righteous life is difficult and complicated.

But understanding the wrongs is only half of the journey.

Acting and changing the way we walk is important too.

We are not perfect,

and the anger we create within ourselves will be ever present

For it is that drive, that burning fire to want change

that causes us to feel these emotions we hate oh so much.

So is sinning bad?

Yes.

But that isn't the question we stop on.

Once we seize the idea that we are not perfect beings,

and we know there will always be space for growth.

Only then do we accept and embrace this anger we create.

Smothering it with love,

giving life to regrets,

and finally acting on these to become yet another being.

That is here,

like I am now.

Welcome back Bur,

You've been missed.

Hiatus

2011-04-10T23:59:00.003+08:00

Until summer.

I love that game, but I never play.

2011-04-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

Time turned fragile like our hearts,

it was a game of risk,

and now the consequences I have to face.

Slow down my pace,

and reminisce.

Bur

It's almost time!!

2011-04-07T17:55:00.001+08:00

HIATUS

COMING SOON

Just thought I let you guys know.

Perspective huh.

2011-04-06T01:02:00.006+08:00

Not long ago,

more like before my hopes were thrown to the ground and spat upon...

I was planning to leave Abu Dhabi and head home.

When I broke the news to my friends in school

they were quite shock and were somewhat pleading me to stay.

They weren't on their knees crying and begging.

Thus I thought that it wasn't a big deal for them.

Being an International school,

students should know that their classmates came from many different countries.

And that being said,

the inevitable departure of our friends will take place sooner or later.

We just sweep the hard truth under the rug, hoping we would go first.

That was my impression.

Being the one who was about to leave.

I never knew, really, what my close friends were facing.

Spending 3 years together creates bonds.

And it's gonna take some energy to break us apart.

Chemistry joke haha.

I recently learned that one of my friends were thinking of leaving.

Something about her being tired of this school.

But I've got a feeling it's much more than that.

I did not want to demand and dig deeper into her situation,

so I just left it as it was.

With her uncomfortable and me struggling.

I did not want her to leave.

She's been a good friend to me,

I just wished we had a stronger bond and spent more time together.

I guess now I know how Haas, Adrian, Rafeh, Gerin and my other friends felt.

Funny how God works huh?

Not sure if this is Karma.

But I think God has a way of showing us every single paradigms available in our lives.

By looking through different glasses,

we can know and step into other's smelly shoes.

Regardless of how much you blur the glass.

The fact is a fact

and the inevitable will happen, and hit you hard.

By conditioning ourselves with new perspectives.

Perhaps we come to learn that we have minuscule power over reality.

That we have to face it head on.

Thus being a mindless robot following the crowd.

What if I don't want to be that other guy.

What if I want my friend to stay.

How am I going to accomplish this mission,

none of my friends set out for my planned departure.

Rather than being passive, what will I do then.

Bur.

Why I blog.

2011-04-03T03:11:00.001+08:00

Cause my life's freaking AWESOME!! DUH!

Haha, well, IT IS!!!

Just kidding, but seriously.

The reason I blog...

hmm?

Let's reminisce shall we?

I few years back, Joel recommended me to watch a Japanese drama called,

"One litre of tears."

And believe me,

literally, you will cry and shed more than one litre of tears.

A bucket full.

Now I'm not saying I cried,

I like how Chowder phrases it,

"Men don't cry! We weep!!"

Haha, so anyways.

We watched it together as men.

If you have not watched it, I seriously recommend you do.

It was about this girl who suffered from cerebellum atrophy.

She wrote down her life experiences in diaries,

and when she passed away, her books inspired many.

AND WAS SOLD FOR HUGE CHA CHING!! xD

Yea, it was sad I know.

But money from your diary,

that's pretty neato.

Joel gave me the idea of making his blog into a book when he was older.

Selling it, I know it was a carefree joke.

But it is somewhat plausible I guess.

So is cha ching my drive to blog?

Meh, not really.

Maybe it is due to me living away from home.

Wanting my friends and family back home to know how I'm doing.

This is somewhat true.

But I think the real reason why I like blogging,

and enjoying updating from day to day,

is because I get to see the change in me.

Remember when you were young.

You stood against a wall and marked your height in pencil with the date.

Remember the thrill of knowing how tall you've grown since the last measurement?

I love going back and answering the questions I had once.

Somehow realising that life unfolds awkwardly and everything makes some sense eventually.

No matter how obscure the circumstance, there's a easier and greener area over the hill.

So there you have it,

the reason I blog,

short and sweet.

You said, "Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes

Sanctify this withered heart of mine

Stay with me until my life is through

And on that day please take me home with you".

Bur.

Ever just dream.

2011-04-02T16:13:00.002+08:00

Running, breathless,

jumping, joy,

rolling, freedom.

I was in the fields near my Singapore home.

I was pulled back into a car.

Seated in the backseats,

Meryl was the driver on the right,

her friend was on the passenger seat.

I was surprised Meryl was driving,

she looked much more older than I was.

I asked her how long she had been driving,

she said this was her first day driving.

Suddenly my entire body stiffened.

Eyes widen, my fingers dug deep into the leather covers of the seat.

I held on for dear life hoping nothing would go wrong.

Immediately,

all I remembered was a honk and the brakes,

and I was in a stairwell, similar to the type my Singapore house has.

I was seating on the steps.

Behind me were the two apartment doors.

I stared at one of them, the metal gate was closed

but the main door was opened.

The lights were on and I wanted to see who lived in it.

I sat on the steps,

as I stood up and walked towards the door

I was seating down in a fast food restaurant with Meryl and her friend.

I was confused,

and even more confused when a priest called me to seat with him.
I got up and left our table and sat with the priest.

I can't remember the questions he asked me,

I only remembered him turning into a tree.

I blinked and now I was in the apartment.

There was this girl on the sofa.

She hid her face from me,

hugging her legs towards her chest,

head down, resting on her knees.

I would call to her but she never showed her face.

I was back in the car,

Meryl was sending her friend home.

It was around 5 in the evening,

the sun was going down.

We stopped the car and her friend got out.

Before she closed the door,

I asked what was her name...

I can't recall, but it was certainly a very unique name.

Perhaps someone who was raised in a very English Singaporean family.

I wanted to say pardon and ask again.

But the door was shut.

And I was back in the apartment,

I was very curious about the unknown girl.

It was as if I knew her from long ago.

And I really wanted to know her again.

It was now evening

and I felt sad the day was over.

I left the house and pressed the button to the lift.

Which was weird cause my HUDC house did not have a elevator.

It was only four storeys tall.

I stepped into the lift and I was in school.

In Mrs. Walsh's class to be exact.

It was non-uniform day and I was wearing my Domo shirt.

Which was even more strange cause the day I woke up was a non-uniform day

and I got my Jeans and Domo shirt ready.

Anyway, back to the dream,

Miss Stephenson came out of nowhere and said

that my shirt had nothing to do with statistics... random?

For some reason, I was embarrassed.

I looked around the room to see what did my classmates wear.

I was baffled, Nicole and Jesse were wearing Domo shirts too.

But their shirts had 2 or 3 Domos on them.

I woke up.

Never knew it had to come so soon.

2011-03-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

It's here guys...

The decision that will determine my life.

The decision that will determine my path,

my job and the way people will come to know me.

I'll keep this short,

I have to pick either Art, math and 2 more subjects OR

Math, Physics, Bio and one more subject.

Please help me!

ASAP.

I love art, but I find Physics and Bio extremely interesting.

God help me.

Bur.

Don't be too idealistic my son.

2011-03-26T23:47:00.005+08:00

In a world where everything is unfair.

Nature has a way of spicing things up on earth,

but God has a way of evening out everything.

Unfortunately, we aren't dead yet.

Not yet, and we still have a long hard journey ahead.

So I wonder how to make this journey a smoother ride.

Intelligence, some are born with it,

some aren't.

It's unfair, I know.

What's even more unjust is the fact that society is widening the gap between the intelligent and the not.

As science and information improves,

so much more information to take in.

The ones who are born swimmers swim.

The ones who are not, sink and drown.

What's left is a huge black void between the two.

I had a debate with my Dad.

Saying how unfair that good teachers are paid more to increase the capability of gifted individuals,

and how mediocre teachers are paid less to help the less fortunate students.

This system we have now will only make things worst.

We can't change nature,

but we certainly can change the way we nurture young minds.

By allowing good and professional teachers educate less intelligent students,

and sending mediocre teachers to teach intelligent students.

Wouldn't that make things much nicer.

Governments would clearly object to this thesis of mine.

Due to the fact that they want the intelligent to be as intelligent as they can be.

Growing up to be scientist, physicist and whatever high class jobs there are.

So as to grow the country's economy and be a massive powerhouse to be feared.

It's unfortunate but true.

Governments couldn't care less for the less fortunate babies who were born into our world.

And oligarchs don't seem to have the moral obligation to make the less fortunate's lives better.

I mean say maybe, just maybe,

my system of education were to be implemented.

Sure the intelligent students will suffer,

but is it really unfair to say,

that the less intelligent students from nature should be nurtured to achieve just a little more.

While naturally intelligent students will have to deal with mediocre teachers.

What's the ratio of unfairness here.

I guess it all boils down to whether people are willing to help each other.

Am I being too idealistic.

I don't know.

My dad was against my idea completely.

It pains me so much that he thinks that the system is good the way it is now.

That intelligent students should be more intelligent while less fortunate students are stopped by the mediocre teaching methods.

That the gap between the two should be widen, and this is how things are.

But what if I were to say,

that these words are from your son, from a mediocre student struggling to cope.

Wanting a change, a better education that will help the children like me, born into this world with less I.Q.

What say you?

Bur

Today is Friday and tomorrow is Saturday.

2011-03-26T02:44:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry, but that statement has nothing to do with this post.

So if you are having the impression that I'm going to go all Rebecca Black on you,

go away. =)

Just kidding stay, stay.

However, if you aren't familiar with the new pop sucksation Rebecca Black.

Please search her on Youtube.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Got up nice and early,

I stayed in my bed watching the sun create patterns on the sheets.

I decided to have a fatty morning and stay in bed.

Awaiting my dad to wake me up like he always does.

I'm not sure if I was half asleep.

But I was woken up by the all too familiar dreaded footsteps of my dad.

The long crescendo of slipper to floor

right before the signal fire "Bur..."

"Okay..."

So anyway, got up, went to the dinning hall only to find a weird breakfast.

Instead of the usual egg, rice and sausages...

I found two eggs with rice.

I was like, how should I say this.

Oh the priest said a fancy word today..."flabbergasted"

Yes I was flabbergasted to find two eggs.

So why two eggs?

Cause it's lent and it's Friday no meat...

SO ANYWAY FAST FORWARD TO THE NIGHT!!!

Sushi!!

So yea, no meat but sushi.

Haha!

Oh wait rewind!

During the grocery shopping today,

I was kinda obsessed on finding how many brands I use to think were companies on their own,

were owned by one mega corporation Unilever.

I am such a boob for not knowing that.

17 years of my life and I've thought brands were their own company.

It's scary how many brands and product Unilever owned.

Eye opening.

Further information, Unilever test on animals.

I had a talk with my dad in the car rides.

Most about human rights and how to make the world a better place.

Turns out there's nothing more to know.

I just need to focus on being a student right now.

One thing at a time.

There will be a chance in the near future.

I just hope I can fulfill my wishes and the wishes of the people.

Peace!

Bur.

Hello my name is ____

2011-03-24T21:09:00.003+08:00

Ignore my ignorance,

for you see I'm blind,

I am fond of the familiar and not the search and find.

The jokes start spreading,

the rumors are roaming,

deep inside we are all crying.

When I paint a picture where are you?

I made a mistake, sorry,

I'll scratch you in.

Now that your blood is flowing I've satisfied my lust.

A giant cover up,

much more thick than a narcissistic tart.

I'm sorry but this isn't me,

lord please have mercy,

tell me off and let them be.

I cower in my malevolent mind,

The remaining space filled with ugly insights

the truth be untold while I hide behind them.

The warmth from the thrill to hate,

and from this lips that chose to tell,

I've made this experience hell.

In the end,

they'll be burnt and blistered

but with healing hands beside.

Friends that are true, never again.

This is the tragic story that won't be.

For I see the end,

and there will only be one seat on my shoulder,

reserved for my profligate plight.

Bur.

This smell.

2011-03-24T00:35:00.005+08:00

It takes me way back.

The evenings when my family were getting dressed up.

We were heading out to my cousin's house for a party.

I was ready.

I paced around in shoes near the main door.

Thinking to myself how I was gonna spend the night.

Soon my brother joined me,

the silence wasn't awkward at all.

An atmosphere of excitement was in the air and we could tell.

The cool evening breeze came though the stairwell.

I couldn't wait for the drive.

It was, for me, the best part of any night outs.

You see, my room window faced the east.

The sun would always wake me up with a burning sensation.

And left me no choice to either get up or turn towards the wall.

The drives I treasured was to the west.

The sunsets were the prettiest,

and each time with something different.

Perhaps a tinge of blue or purple.

Clouds creating majestic patterns we call God's artworks.

He was painting, painting for me.

By now, everyone was ready.

We walked down the stairs and got to the car.

Waiting for my dad to unlock the car doors.

Sometime I would be too anxious and open it before it was unlocked.

This caused the doors to shut tight.

Leaving me embarrassed and stupid.

I opened the door and threw myself in.

The car was warm from the afternoon sun,

the Pandan leaves were fragrance for the drive.

I loved it.

As the car slowly cooled up.

I would place my face right in front of the A.C.

I looked out and there it was,

the evening sky in all its glory.

The beginning of a good night.

It was time to see the boys again.

Bur.

Deep breath,

deep breath to recollect.

Much easier said than done.

2011-03-22T00:31:00.004+08:00

To what extent do I understand the statements I blurt out.

To what distance will I go to stand by my doctrines.

I fear that I'm not wise enough to understand my beliefs,

what if all these were just formed from teen angst and rebellious emotions.

It's as if the recent rejection and abolishment of my dream was a small significant sign.

Perhaps I should turn to it

and maybe try to learn from it.

Life isn't a fantasy with heroes who are unique and charismatic.

And besides,

I have neither of those features.

There are millions of people who feel and think the same as I do.

Constantly questioning beliefs during their maturity.

I use to think that Singapore was a magical haven.

Safety and cleanliness was of high priority.

Caning, retribution and justice was mandatory.

We use the words national service to replace conscription.

We hide under the inexistent blanket of hope or ignorance that we are not part of the world.

We sweep the inevitable truth of world war 3.

We treat national service as a fitness training course.

It was as if we were born with a binded contract to our bodies.

It was as if regardless of race and religion, country comes first.

It was as if we weren't protecting our love ones but "Her".

It was a cursed life that was labeled kill or be killed.

It has come to this, we don't have a choice.

I want to die for the people I love,

I don't want to kill for the sake of precaution.

I want to stand my ground when the gun under the flag touches my crucifix.

But I guess,

These are much easier said than done.

We regret to inform you...

2011-03-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

Built my life on dreams.

So surreal it seems.

An abstract mind

was my fall on the land mine.

I still hear those sad memories,

still haunting me,

I cannot sleep.

I began to see differently

wanting to be

what others want.

Somewhere in between,

the genesis and revelation,

Summer took the tourist and they settled down for good.

We couldn't hear those planes,

no good friends with their hugs,

September ended and no one said one word.

I still hear those sad memories,

still taunting me,

I cannot sleep.

I began to see differently

wanting to be

what others want.

What happened to bulletproof dreams

Does God still have a plan,

I was left standing still on the platform.

Is this my death bed,

and now I'm alone

if I close my eyes now, where is my home?

I can smell the death on the sheets,

covering me,

I can't believe this is the end.

I still hear those sad memories,

still mocking me,

is this the end?

30 seconds to Mar's concert!

2011-03-11T15:37:00.003+08:00

Just kidding!

It's more like 8 hours to their concert!

I just got back from Church!

Today is the first day of lent,

and the priest was on about how lent should be experienced.

It's a time to humble ourselves and a time to give up something we love to do.

I think mine would be the same as last year's.

Give up soft drinks.

Not sure how I am gonna do it again.

Today will be the first test!

No soft drinks at the concert.

Soft drinks don't even quench your thirst.

So anyway,

I'm now waiting to go to Haas' house,

he bought the tickets.

Oh!

and my Mum, older sis and younger sis and grandma are coming for a week visit.

They'll be here tomorrow at 6.

It's gonna be strange sharing a room with my sisters.

I won't be blogging just as much,

it's kinda embarrassing when your sister ask you,

"WHY SO EMO!!"

So yea,

I'll probably only blog when they're out.

I'll try to enjoy myself tonight!

Keep me safe God!

NO SOFT DRINKS!

Bur.

Probably the last time.

2011-03-11T00:26:00.003+08:00

It's the weekend yay!

I think I had a pretty good week,

unlike someone I know.

It is really sad actually.

I really wanted to help her,

but the way she is right now, I don't think there's much I can do.

It's funny how we as humans learn through suffering and mistakes.

What ever happened to the phrase "Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own."

- William Blake.

If that is true, I think we were all fools to begin with.

So the question now is, should we let our friends suffer so that they'll learn,

or break them down and built them up again.

I guess it all comes down to how much your life has sucked.

It's a dilemma I face when I see someone I care about, wasted in the filth of humanity.

But then again, couldn't you say the same with scolding.

Why do parents scold,

when eventually their children will learn "the hard way".

No one taught me anything, I was a pampered little prince, and now I'm here.

Wow, for the first time,

I really need someone to tell me what to do.

Which way should I take, the cross road that's meant for three legged humanoids.

If you want,

I will humble you,

break you and make you loathe humanity oh so bitterly.

With so much malice,

you'll come to a conclusion that there is more to life than consumption,

than popularity, than romance, than money.

The sad truth is that no one wants that.

I don't want it,

I want to be naive and filled with glee.

Or I could just be more outgoing

than blogging behind a flashing screen,

typing up my poetry, to think that words could save a wretch like me.

I got to take out my ear phones

and listen to my friends,

I am trying to change, I really am.

To end on a lighter note,

I'm going to 30 seconds to Mars tomorrow!!

Gonna have a great time.

I don't even know why I go to concerts,

I don't even jump up and down,

I'm so use to bobbing my head with ear phones.

Oh well, we'll see,

if their music can make me move.

I heard 30 seconds is AMAZING live.

They are what people call a live band.

I think.

Well, got to go.

Bur.

P.S.

It does not take 30 seconds to get to Mars.

It takes like 214 days.

Depending on the orbits.

I'm not sure if this is a sin.

2011-03-10T00:37:00.004+08:00

But screw it,

I am proud of myself

and I expect others to respect me.

Remember this,

"I'm not having mood swings, my Ipod's just on shuffle."

Well, I came up with it.

Am I being selfish, I'm not quite sure.

But I'm sure stealing is a sin.

Perhaps I should forgive and forget.

But while my quote is still within the text,

I can't sit and watch as my philosophy spreads like a viral quote without an origin.

I hope people respect the person who came up with it.

I really hope that one day on websites.

People will quote me after I'm long dead,

that technology and materialistic goods can cause turbulence in our emotions.

That we as humans should not allow our music to control how we act in society.

I'm sorry,

but that is all I ask,

so please to stop lifting quotes of my blog,

You could at least say where you got it from.

A quote that is stolen, is as taking a good idea from another individual,

a good idea being the representation of the persons persona and philosophy.

Please don't take it lightly and know that I trust humanity to have a conscious.

Peace

Bur.

The best happiness money can't buy.

2011-03-09T01:53:00.002+08:00

I've got no homework today,

I just got home from school,

it's 10 P.M and I don't feel like studying!

Instead, I would much rather tell you about my wonderful day!

Being a wonderful day isn't a coincidence when I say,

today my school had a Alice in Wonderland play.

And it was amazing.

I stayed back after school from 2:30 to 6 to do my art work.

I believe I've completed yet another masterpiece,

it's a painted perfume bottle.

My art teacher, Mrs. Nix said that it was my finest piece I've ever done.

I'm extremely proud of myself,

and now I want to drink water.

People began flooding into the school.

Rafeh and I wanted to stay back and watch the play and interview and gather comments about it.

We were given front row seats haha!

The play was amazing!

Up and over my expectations, one of the best and only play I've seen.

It was kinda like a musical play since there was singing and dancing.

The story matched neither the original, the cartoon nor the movie.

It was taken from limelight scripts which turned out to be much better than the previous three.

LOL.

I feel sad now,

leaving this school in its growth.

Truly the school has grown since the beginning 3 years ago.

I've seen it grow since it was a little ...

till now, leaving this school is much worst than leaving H.I.H.S.

I guess it's time to say goodbye.

We've built this school so much now.

I think I'd like to leave it to the younger generations to take over.

These are the things that matter now, so sing along and be prepared.

Please follow this tune,

quickly or you'll lose the melody you never heard,

when you were young you didn't care.

There's still more pages left in this chapter.

Read it twice and commit it to memory.

Treasure these moments, for they will be the only one you'll ever treasure.

I've experienced it.

Happiness, and my pursuit of it.

Max.

I'm not ready yet.

2011-03-06T01:45:00.002+08:00

Time please slow,

slow down for me.

Don't forget that yes is yes and no is no,

don't get distracted by the distracting,

don't forget the speed that time can go.

I want to amount to something in their eyes,

but I'll still convince myself of what I am

and what to be.

The cruelty of reality

please rest within me,

I'm no prodigy so bear with me.

Hear me out,

and here I am,

just blogging.

So close yet I'm still calm.

This feeling is unnatural,

there's no stopping it,

Just wait for awhile,

I'll be right there,

just wait for awhile,

as I stare into air.

Darn it...

I fail.

Bur.

Brothers.

2011-03-05T01:35:00.004+08:00

It's been awhile,

but here it goes.

I remember the nights we talked,

while waiting for the sand man to bury our eyes,

we talked about games.

Who knew that the most common thing about us was going to be that.

I remember the awkward moments when the night was quiet,

and we lay on our beds eyes wide opened.

Waiting for the other to get the hammer,

to break the lonely silence.

I remembered one topic,

I brought it up since I was a big fan of the genre.

"If only there was a MMORPG that had Kingdom Hearts' mechanics."

Back then,

technology was kinda crap.

However, few companies have taken my idea, well, I guess we think alike.

I believe a teenager can only call himself old once he or she has experienced a change in an industry.

I guess for me, I will always look back and remember when Hack and slash MMOs were created

and when Clicking MMOs were a thing of a past.

I can't really say I've experienced the change in the music industry,

unlike some of my older cousins and my brother and sister.

They've experience the rise and fall of Nsync, Blue, A-1 and The Backstreet Boys.

I came around when their popularity was declining,

so nah,

I don't count that as a huge change.

I was barely self-aware at that time, still licking up my snots.

It's nice to know that I've seen a big change in history.

A turning point where game schools and art schools are increasing in popularity.

Where younger generations are taking over, having a more open mindset to new media.

And not some old hag screaming "Ahh, the box glows!! Witchcraft!"

No.

But I'm really glad, I've seen changes

and have been apart of it.

I will never see changes in history as big as Kong kong's,

but who knows, the end of the world might be in my life time,

and should be one hell of a ride.

Peace,

Bur.

A date to remember.

2011-03-02T22:30:00.001+08:00

Date as in 2 March 2011

My armpit hair have grown to which I could say for a fact that

I have armpit hair.

Just a date to remember =)

Bur!

I need to level up more.

2011-03-02T01:01:00.005+08:00

Had my math statistics exam today.

Let's just say it did not turn out so well.

I'd probably get a high A,

but due to my over confidence, in reality is may just be a low A.

After the exam,

we went out and into a quarantine room.

This is to ensure that us pupils in the U.A.E do not contact U.K students and tell them the answers.

So then it all began.

Now I did not understand one question.

It was the one question that would separate me from an A and an A*.

Now I was in a foul mood.

On the bus home,

I reflected on the way I acted in that half an hour quarantine.

I shook my head and drowned myself in my pity.

I regret solemnly and acknowledge my room for growth.

I felt that the room was noisy.

That everyone was a idiot trying to get on my nerve.

I felt that everyone who tried to help me solve the problem I did not solve,

was just trying to prove that he or she was better than me.

I wanted to run,

I wanted to scream,

I wanted to show them I was a million times more significant than their pitiful existence.

I was the old me.

I took out my Ipod.

I set Five Iron Frenzy on repeat.

I needed a sanctuary,

I needed time to be alone.

I blast my music,

to drown the chatters of at that time, very insignificant people to me.

I was in pain, I was holding back the rage in me,

the problem was I was angry at myself.

I looked around at my friends.

They looked at me and I heard their faint complains and annoyances.

I stared blankly at their way,

signalling to them that I was in no mood to help, teach, comfort, console, chat or contribute to their rant.

Instead I rather listen to my music.

I was incredibly rude,

ignoring them,

why did I act that way?

About half way through the quarantine,

I realised my mistake.

I took off my earphones,

and smiled.

I realised that,

by moaning and whining about the exam,

further angering myself would not get me anywhere.

It wasn't good for my soul, body or mind,

and most importantly,

it wasn't good at all for my friends who needed more consoling and cheering on.

By letting my emotions get the better of me,

I was contradicting my very philosophy of my existence.

"I was put here on this earth to make other people's lives better."

I realised that in no way was I acting by my creed,

I was proving that education is the most important aspect of my life,

that it could affect my emotions and the way I behave.

I was disgusted.

I guess I still have a long way to go.

I don't want to let these events bring me down again.

No need to regret and anger myself anymore.

Learn from it,

and know that you aren't on earth to glorify yourself,

you are not here to get the top grades.

Not here to get the most fame nor money.

You are here to make other's lives a heaven on earth.

Or at least try your best in doing that.

Give me faith lord,

I think I need it.

Bur, Max.

I love it, I really do.

2011-02-28T21:01:00.004+08:00

Anarchy.

Rafeh and I had a friendly debate about anarchy.

He was fore anarchy saying it is a possible system and the best system ever.

I for one, really really love the concept of anarchy.

But, I find it hard to accept that humanity will be humble and open enough to that idea.

Looking at how we are living now, I sigh and dream of a better world.

He said that of course we aren't able to introduce anarchy immediately,

that it will take a long time before humanity can grasp and live with each other in harmony.

Where forgiveness was abundant and crime was unheard of.

However, if we were to start this process,

wouldn't we have to stop banks,

stop the government,

stop the idea of "country"

stop the oil industry, since countries like America exploits the oil to control the economy.

stop people who would prefer the current system rather than an anarchy.

There won't be bosses,

no more hierarchy in companies,

no more large corporations,

no more MacDonald's!!

I really find it hard to belief.

Since everything we live on now depends on money,

from oil, electricity and water.

It would be like turning back time,

when everyone owned their own land,

farmed their own crops,

raised their own cattle.

We would be living in biblical times,

and would humanity embrace that idea?

We love the fast food,

we love the efficiency of the system,

we love super markets,

we love corner stores,

we love the internet,

and most of all, we love money so damn much.

Bur.

Oh Wilbur, Rafeh's gonna own all your statements haha!

Always fighting for a life.

2011-02-24T23:54:00.006+08:00

She embraced hatred and malice,

he wavers with his faith,

she's struggling in her eyes,

It's like I can hear my friends' cries.

We look at the tree and we see a bird,

it takes off and flies, it floats in the breeze.

We think in metaphors and similes,

assuming what that bird perceives.

But in fact we were always wrong,

while we create hope and freedom songs.

Some wait for change while some want the change,

and the people who need the change are shunned in the street.

It's true that we try to help,

but there's always a limit to how much was felt.

We say that it makes a difference,

I say the difference was and always there.

To the end of time,

people are unpleasantly strange,

neither did Jesus nor his saints make a change.

And now we turn to nooses and canes.

It was never about changing lanes,

it's about turning back this train we've created.

And that's just impossible to the optimistic boy.

Bur.

Am I too late, or was I gone for awhile.

17 years old.

2011-02-20T01:06:00.002+08:00

I feel that 17 is a big number.

It's so close to 20,

and at that age people won't look at me as a kid anymore.

Today, I've decided.

I'm going to give up, I'm quiting, I won't chase after my significant

other anymore.

I want to start fresh when I return to Singapore.

I want to get to know new people.

I want new friends, ones that will love me for who I am now,

not for the actions I've done in the past.

It's time for a fresh start,

I believe I am ready.

Even though it is seriously hard to let you go.

I will learn to accept that 3 years away changes a person.

I got to stop living in the past,

so Joel, Daphine, Ryan, Amos, please put my feelings I've opened up to you away.

I've given up,

maybe I will win in the future,

but for now I've decided to cry.

It feels like my memories just collapsed on itself.

I want to find my way once again.

Bring me back to the cross lord.

Everything's a blur now,

but it won't last long,

I'll change my paradigm and move on.

I am certain I won't make the same mistakes twice.

I've given up on you,

but you will still be in memories that linger like a faint smile.

I want to thank you for being my forgetmenots and marigolds.

I can't wait for the next chapter,

let me be free.

Bless me lord,

hold me close

and don't let me go.

I deserve a happy birthday.

Bur, Max and 407

The conversation.

2011-02-17T02:23:00.003+08:00

Happy last day of Chinese New Year!

I am fashionably late according to the pin button I got for Christmas! Ha ha.

Never understood the concept of being fashionably late.

One thing, you are late and the host might think you are disrespectful... like Spongebob.

Second, everyone stares at you, when you enter those doors.

I can't stand that attention.

I guess that's just me...

Moving on!

So anyways, just got home from a fantastic dinner!

A Singaporean CNY dinner.

It was freaking awesome!

They had free Coke!! AND DUCK!!

OMGosh, it's been such a long time. =)

FREE!

Had a nice little chat with Andrew Ken.

A friend of mine from my school who's also Singaporean but he's one year younger than me.

We were talking about, school, math, English, Art, the fact that...

THE MOON!!

HAD A BUNNY IMAGE ON IT!!!

I promise, seriously, look up at the moon, you'll see a rabbit on it, no lie.

I want to take a picture but it wouldn't show anyways.

You really have to squint to see it.

But it's so amazing, a bunny!!

Andrew said the head looked exactly like the playboy bunny logo haha!

Besides talking about bunnified moons,

we also noticed how as one grows and matures into an adult,

one tends to start a conversation about business.

It's really fascinating how teenagers my age talk about philosophy, religion and life.

While adults talk about, the economy and politics.

I'm not sure if it's due to the fact that the adults are working now,

or maybe philosophy and religion isn't part of their daily self questioning.

E.g

"What is my purpose and direction"

"Why did Jesus have to die, when God is God and is able to snap his fingers to change everything."

"Why does humanity suck so much."

or "Why can't I get a girlfriend."

Maybe adults, through ten years of meaningless questioning,

came to a conclusion that there isn't any point in these questions,

that once you die, everything will make sense haha.

Sad truth.

So why bother. =)

I don't want to grow old and be inept in creativity and dreaming!!

I don't want to conform to the ways of the world...

I don't want to eat the kings meat...

I am a rebel!

I want to stay that way!

Jesus was a rebel who was counter cultural, and by that he was ridiculed and murdered.

That's the life I want,

but I know I can't,

cause I'm a coward who wouldn't go against the system!

Maybe. ;)

Bur!

Importance.

2011-02-13T22:34:00.002+08:00

What is important to me?

I have no idea, it seem my mind is all scrambled up.

With all these external influences excluding my own's.

I have no idea,

which direction to take,

it seems I'm affected by other people's ideas and thesis way to much.

So much that I've never stopped to wonder,

what was my opinion in all this.

I was just taking it all in, trying to link each belief and philosophy to create something magnificent.

But look where it's got me now.

I don't know what to believe,

what is my purpose and direction.

Is it to please myself,

to please others?

To help society?

To involve myself in politics?

To religion?

To education?

To the system,

or to the rebellion?

So many things I want to do, or perhaps need to do.

Unfortunately,there isn't enough time in this life.

All these dreams I've seen, will have to wait.

Time management is the most important to me right now.

Without it, I'll fail in life.

So, sorry if I'm impertinent and rash,

I'm trying to work things out,

I just need all the time in the world.

Bur.

I'm a thinker.

2011-02-11T18:48:00.003+08:00

Perhaps too much of one.

I am happy, I should just be certain with that.

Enough with being discontent.

I'm not giving up,

until God smites me down,

and on my knees I'll cry out, by your will,

it is over.

But until then,

I'm not backing down.

So give me one more chance,

I'll do you proud.

The mood swings was due to my music,

That's a fact, no other source.

I've changed my music

and I am moving forward, slowly but surely.

It's time to be grateful,

no more fake smiles or laughter,

let me be bliss with content

and joyous for the Lord, my God is with me, always.

I'm a thinker,

I could break it down,

I'm a shooter,

a drastic baby.

Max.

Nothing has to change, really.

2011-02-10T22:28:00.001+08:00

I'm sick of this,

let's end this,

I am the boy

and I say nothing has to change.

Bur

Commit this to memory (402)

2011-02-09T00:57:00.005+08:00

Hold it all in,

there's enough anger in this world,

enough hate and enough angst.

For the sake of the world,

and everyone that inhabits it.

Bottle it up.

For the body acts as a vessel.

Whatever that's left after your temporal life,

will remain within.

I know for a fact,

you will leave this place with a smile on your face.

All those years of hate will be left behind.

So therefore, don't vent,

don't lose yourself, don't give into belligerence.

It makes everyone else ignorant, but blissful.

Enough with the tweets,

enough with the statuses,

enough with the "I hate my life"s.

Cause you're not the saddest music tonight.

You've never had it the worst,

and you'll never will.

You walk steadfast down this narrow path,

Avoiding snares and traps and thinking clearly,

you've never stopped and wondered what about them.

Now some might say emotions are relative.

But one look at this sentence and you will know it yourself,

you're so much better off.

So stop it with the teen angst,

seek the truth instead of sitting and being a nuisance.

I know you can do better than this.

This is simply my two cents,

and you can, you can, take it

or leave it.

Bur.

Commit this to memory (401)

2011-02-07T20:17:00.006+08:00

Why didn't I look to my right,

and conversed with that angel who was always right.

Why did I look to my left,

and pushed myself closer to eternal death.

The feeling was overwhelming.

I needed to vent,

and before I knew it I was falling,

and was no longer a Godsend.

It could have been perfect,

Like an empty frame hanging on a wall.

But no,

when the angel's gone

and you can't compose yourself,

it's best to compose a poem.

And that is when you might see the beauty of it

and stand staring in awe,

At our still lives posed.

I would rather evaluate my life

than evaluate art or poems.

Our lives are meant to be a miracle,

So take a picture that you will never regret.

But nevertheless,

amazing day

and

I thank God.

Bur.

Inept Scripting.

2011-02-07T03:02:00.003+08:00

Tada!

It is done!

This took me about the entire afternoon.

If you are a boob and did not notice it yet,

I changed my banner.

It's so cute!!

Gosh, feminine much?

Anyways, stole this off VG cats,

but I did the effects and the words myself.

The process took so long cause I couldn't get the image in the right position.

Literally in the right > position.

You see, I'm not a really good html person.

My banner was stuck to the left of my blog wall.

To compensate for my certain lack of ICT skills, I used my creative mind to widen the banner,

and paint the left side of the banner with more back, moving Leo the cat to the right... haha.

The image is still leaning towards the left,

you just can't see it cause it's all black.

So tell me what you think!

Do you like it?

Do you think it was wrong I stole the picture?

Do you think I will get sued when it clearly stated "Copyright" on the original image.

Well, nevertheless my blog looks much better.

I was thinking it was time for a change anyway.

And now it's really black and white.

It's kinda contradicting cause in my opinion my life is anything but black and white.

Being in a different country, experiencing different cultures, living among different ethnicities.

Hardly black and white.

Well, it's time to sleep.

I hope tomorrow is gonna be a great day.

Cause I just bought something for school!!

Haha, if it was fun and great,

I will definitely let you people know.

But if does not turn out so well,

well, you know what happened.

Good night and good luck my fellow hypocrites.

Bur.

It is hard to live.

2011-02-04T19:16:00.002+08:00

People

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If are successful, you will win false friends and some true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, some could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

Max.

It didn't taste as great as it sounds.

2011-01-31T19:15:00.002+08:00

Well there you have it, my Saturday's breakfast.

Wow, I sure love to procrastinate.

I was telling myself to show you guys and girls this picture for 2 days.

But I just couldn't bother haha!

So anyway,

OMGosh!! Cola and Cappuccino!!

Two of my favourite drinks in one!! Wow!

With Pizza! Amazing x2

Haha!

Well that was just a quick post,

I need to do lots of work now Goodbye for awhile!

Bur.

Who we are.

2011-01-29T03:30:00.002+08:00

I've never been part of any social group.

Not a class, a club or a cult.

I am neither different nor special.

The reason why we do not belong is not because we are weird.

The reason why we don't come together to form a group is because we don't want to.

Within us, there are cuts, wounds and scars.

We have different ways of thinking from others,

and yet we are similar in character with each other.

The problem is, we don't like to open up those scars again.

There are many of us,

drifting through different social groups wanting to fit in, but the truth is we are desperately trying to forget.

There is no such thing as an outcast.

I've never found another one like me.

I'm positive I've met many in my life.

Perhaps he or she is right before me now.

Sad we don't like to have similarities in that area.

Nevertheless, there are hints that we are all the same.

Just trying to forget and not slow down.

The harder we try to forget, the more nightmares.

So let's just be happy we are on this train,

that will take us far away, so far away from anyone, and finally we will meet the no ones.

Bur.

Exam!

2011-01-27T23:49:00.002+08:00

Geography exam tomorrow!

Worth 25% of my total GCSE.

Things work differently here haha.

After this exam,

I plan to go all out in my maths.

Cause in the SOTA enrollment criteria,

students would have to undergo a math exam.

I know how difficult Singapore math is.

Haha, I hope I can do it.

Gonna go study now.

Wish me good luck guys and girls.

Pray pray pray pray pray!!!! =)

Bur.

Dreams.

2011-01-25T21:14:00.004+08:00

Dedicated to Emily,

one of my few treasured readers.

I am Wilbur, a pessimist, a hypocrite and somewhat of a dreamer.

As I listen to the soothing sounds of my life,

I look out the window, and into the deep blue sky.

I love dreaming,

my only way to escape this hectic world.

As I soar into infinity and beyond,

I dream of the what could be's and the what will be's of me.

The school, the friends, the love.

I can't wait,

and I know for a fact, things will only get better.

Even if things seem grim sometimes, you know that silver lining is a vector.

I dream of SOTA,

Singapore school of the arts.

I dream of achievements, I dream of freedom in art.

I want to touch the horizons of my mind.

I dream of going there,

doing what I love,

after school I'll go to the steps of the school

and I'll just create music from the heart.

With an open heart and an open guitar case.

The cynical cents of economy will be my dinner.

The night lights come on and I head back home.

Tired but ecstatic, for this is the life I wanted.

The friends I've met and yet to meet.

Treat me well,

teach me everything, your opinions are never relative.

Your wisdom is the hope for me.

I can't wait for the next Joel, the next Rafeh.

I got a feeling this next one will be blown out of proportion.

The rebel, the truth seeker.

Built me tall.

This love,

This pure, massively significant feelings for you.

I will find you, my significant other.

But till then, I'll await the echo of my love.

All these dreams,

Some may not come true,

perhaps I could be wrong about everything.

But nevertheless,

I found joy in dreaming these lives of my alternate self.

For when I was on my way home, I looked out the window, and into the deep blue sky, I smiled...

This innocence is brilliant and I hope that it will stay.

Forever and for this moment.

Please stay.

Max.

Not again, not again.

2011-01-25T01:55:00.002+08:00

What ever happened to "Forget and not slow down",

what happened to that Bur...

You have so much good going on right now.

Don't remember the past as mistakes, regret and source of anger.

Look at it as a benchmark of your maturity.

Look at how far you've come.

Look how different things are now.

Look at the blessings bestowed upon you.

Caring friends and family.

What more could you want.

Remember these moments,

take a picture if you must.

For this is a miracle happening right before my eyes.

Max.

Last chance.

2011-01-24T02:34:00.001+08:00

I find it amusing how people always label exams as "last chance"

Is there really a last chance to anything?

In my opinion is quite funny really.

Like angry clouds of discontent.

2011-01-23T19:39:00.003+08:00

What a weekend!

The Singaporean Carnival was certainly uniquely Singapore haha!

It was truly a Singaporean experience.

It was as if,

you took Singapore and compressed it to fit a stadium.

Get a stage, stalls and game booths.

It was cool,

too bad that I did not know any Abu Dhabi Singaporeans...

every kid that was Singaporean were from Dubai.

We got there around 10+

and really felt like rolling around the soft soft carpet grass.

Why can't the grass downstairs my Singapore home have that kind of grass.

I asked my dad and he said we had cow grass, which was much cheaper than carpet grass.

But I really really want the grass downstairs to be soft.

I've never in my life felt grass so soft... wow, I'm in love with the grass.

For my birthday, I want my mum to plant carpet grass downstairs,

so when I go back in the summer I'd have soft grass to fall on. =)

So enough about grass,

I helped set up the carnival since it wasn't ready.

Haha, these carnivals should have been ready since yesterday,

but you know how life is in this country haha.

Next we went around looking at the games.

There was a tent that had carom, the board game thing!

It was so nostalgic!!

I haven't played that game since I was like 9 or 11!

I really liked that game,

it brings back the simple memories of lazy Sunday afternoons,

when studies weren't important and Windows 98 was the best operating system ever.

When runescape was the "in" game and the world was seen in orange and sepia.

Just when I thought the day couldn't get anymore Singaporean,

it started to rain!!

Oh how I missed the rain, I was drenched, I was walking in a atmospheric swimming pool.

Loved it!

Overall, I had a wonderful day.

The acts on stage were hilarious, the guy on stage was incredibly convivial.

He was able to speak in five different languages, excluding Singlish.

English, mandarin, Malay, Tamil and Thai.

Amazing!

It was a Singapore carnival with Singapore weather! =)

Hope to walk in the rain again back in Singapore soon.

Bur.

Quick!

2011-01-20T22:59:00.004+08:00

This week really flew by!

I'm sure it has got to be related to the saying "Time flies when you're having fun."

Cause I sure had fun! =)

I've been listening to My Chemical Romance's new album this week.

Their genre of music in this album was significantly different.

For some reason I keep seeing similarities between Green Day and them.

Death days, their new album was a combination of Punk rock and Gothic rock.

Not really a surprising mix of genres, but it is different from their usual Emo rock music.

And this time, there was actually a concept in the album!

I'm not sure if I'm weird,

but I prefer their Emo music more.

Is it just me!? Am I Emo?! Nah, I'm not emo... I'm a jolly holly by golly boy.

I find concept albums really really appealing.

Just a simple back story to what the whole album is based around gives it flare and well, concept.

It really is something really simple to do.

It's a waste how awesome bands like Motion City Soundtrack sing only for mainstream taste.

Songs about love, lost of love and life.

Nevertheless, their music is awesome, their sound and lyric are unique and extraordinary.

Cult music is risky but hey, it's awesome.

OKAY!

Enough about my taste in music,

let's talk about school today!

We invented a new game.

It's facepalmingly simple,

but fun.

WITH JUST A TENNIS BALL AND A WALL,

YOU TOO CAN EXPERIENCE MY PERCEPTION OF FUN!

1) TAKE THE TENNIS BALL AND THROW IT AT THE WALL.

2) THE BALLER ISN'T ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE BALL, SOMEONE ELSE HAS TO TRY TO CATCH IT.

3) ONE CAUGHT, IT IS YOUR TURN TO TRY TO HIT THE WALL.

4) IF ONE FAILS TO CATCH THE BALL AFTER TOUCHING IT (ALSO KNOWN AS A FUMBLE) ANYONE IS ALLOWED TO THROW THE BALL AT THE FUMBLER.

5) BUT IF THE FUMBLER IS ABLE TO TOUCH THE WALL BEFORE HE IS THROWN AT, HE OR SHE IS SAFE.

6) AND THE GAME CONTINUES.

Bear in mind that multiple persons can fumble the ball and anyone is allowed to catch the ball at their own risk. Also note that if you fumble the ball by touching it even if it touches you, you are not allowed to touch it again or you will have to do a forfeit.

Fun huh?

Player discretion is advised, due to the fact that Wilbur's perception of fun may be different to other people, for you see Wilbur never really had a lot of fun as a kid, mainly an anti-social reject who lurks in the darkened corners of life. So please do not feel deceived if you were to find that Wilbur's perception of fun is completely different. It isn't wrong, just different. You've been warned.

Tomorrow is Friday!

Big day tomorrow,

waking up for a 7.45 a.m. mass.

Immediately going to Dubai for a social gathering of Singaporeans.

It is a carnival or party or event that is specifically for Singaporeans!

Aren't we awesome like that?! =)

Eating lunch there,

eating dinner there,

big day.

Hoping to see lots of fellow Abu Dhabi Singaporeans and Dubai Singaporeans there!

Oh! And there's gonna be Singaporean food!!

AHHH!! >.< ! Gonna be lovin' it.

Well, gonna peace off now.

So peace out folks!!

Bur.

Isolation without you.

2011-01-19T23:11:00.004+08:00

That afternoon,

in my uniform I was awake.

With my chemical romance playing,

I looked out the window, the orange glow made its way in.

I was at peace, I was asleep.

Away from this crazy world.

Once again I dreamt of nothing.

The guitars were strumming, the cymbals were crashing.

I awoke to the chorus of screams.

I looked out the window, the orange glow was gone.

I was saddened, I was alone...

The day was over,

I had slept through one of life's greatest moments.

Woke up in solitary darkness.

I stumbled over to the lights,

for a moment, I felt warmth.

I found joy in the fact that I was sharing the same darkness as my friends and family.

And with that in mind, I am glad.

It's official,

I have deactivated my Facebook account.

I have a problem, I'm kinda addicted to Facebook.

Constantly refreshing the news to see who's who...

it's sad I know.

So yep,

No more communications with so called friends

or clowns with iron grips on my past,

sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with them in the first place.

Do I know the definition of the word friend?

Sigh... I need more friends haha!

Facebook isn't friendbook,

note that down.

It has been on my mind for quite sometime now.

How does a person grow and mature.

Does it come with age,

or do you have to undergo back breaking hardships.

Or is one thrown back down to reality by the words of a significant person.

But if we always have the mindset of "We should not judge others",

how are they ever gonna repent?

Someone has to step in and say it straight to their facade.

Shatter their ignorant masks and bring them out of the darkness.

But who...

Who will sacrifice everything,

endure the torment and ridicules of others,

for the sake of another's enlightenment.

After all, we are on this earth to help others.

But when and how.

How do we know the perfect time and the most subtle way of hinting their wrongs.

If not, humanity is cursed.

Continuing the downward spiral,

of hypocrites and ignorance.

I know it isn't gonna be me cause I'm a coward.

We are our own downfall

but also our own deliverance,

is it up to us to make the difference,

or just be on-lookers for the not so fortunate and blessed?

Max.

Is your life hard?

2011-01-17T20:43:00.004+08:00

Somewhere out there,

in another dimension,

an alternate universe,

there was a girl who lived my life.

I can imagine it,

and I got to say,

I am extremely glad that I wasn't her.

I don't think humanity give females enough credit.

Most of us only see only the surface,

and this leads to girls turning to lip sticks, eye liner, hair straighteners, make-up.

We place so much pressure on them with magazines, commercials, Hollywood movies,

implying how girls should look and behave.

I have friends who wake up at 5 plus, just to get ready for school.

Hair, eyes, skin.

And for what!

Just to be eye candy for ignorant males.

Soon they find their love,

and if they are blessed they don't end up in the kitchen... alone.

The inconvenience of your bodies, the pain of giving life.

Now I understand why girls complain a lot haha.

Well, girl-Wilbur.

If you are out there...

Good luck.

Bur.

Is it too late?

2011-01-16T02:52:00.003+08:00

I'm really finding it hard to study.

I'm distracted by everything!!!

I've decided to not use Facebook anymore.

I need to shut it all down.

Music is a language,

music is the sound of life.

I've experienced a new genre.

Thank you Rafeh,

he introduced me to Rap and Hip hop.

Crazy huh?!

Is Wilbur really changing that much,

perhaps this is Max now. xD

Really, I've always felt that Rap was never meant for me.

I couldn't grasp the fast flying words.

The grammar was alien to me.

But now I've come to a point when I can appreciate the beauty in everything.

I'm not saying I'm listening to songs about Alcohol, sex and drugs.

No, I'm glad I found a common ground, Christian Rap.

Amazing huh?

Seems like a potent mix,

but once you feel the passion in Lecrae and Reuben's music,

you can be sure that there are no lies, no empty lyric, no sellouts with bigger ambitions.

Just music in harmony with religion.

Love it.

Maybe I am swaying, changing, growing.

Nevertheless, religion will be my base.

My feet are glued to the tile of faith,

I can't fall no matter how far I lean,

and that's the best part of my religion.

The freedom.

Max.

I see your innocence and envy it.

I reminisce of mine and remember it,

full of peace, full of hope, full of truth,

I remember when I use to be you, before you became me.

So much is changing.

2011-01-14T05:04:00.004+08:00

Yet why do I feel the same.

I don't feel taller or stronger.

I don't feel smarter or wiser.

Before I left for Christmas.

It was the last day of school for me,

the day that I had flown off.

I just finished my art exam and was pretty satisfied.

Got an A* Btw haha!

Anyway...

Rafeh and I were talking at the school's entrance,

I was waiting for my dad and he decided to wait along.

I told him my opinions on art, and with all due respect,

I believe art should not be something of this world, but something that God hasn't created.

Something like fantasy.

Why do humans choose to copy something that God has created.

Can we compare to his creation?

I really have this pet hate

when someone draws a person and an on-looker comments,

"Wow! That is beautiful!"

Instead of commenting on the portrait,

how bout complimenting the person who was drawn.

Like in my art work.

I draw a koi fish, and everyone's like "Wow, Wilbur that's so cool"

I'm really glad that they like it and I feel good when someone praises me,

but really, am I the one to be praise, all glories on me and not the king above?

I know not many understand this concept, but why replicate something God created to the best of his abilities.

To my surprise,

Rafeh told me that in Islam,

artist were not allowed to draw God's creation.

He said if you notice in Islamic art, there were no humans...

I was really surprise to see how the thinkings of two different culture and religions

would have the same mindset on art!

It's really quite amazing!

In the end, it's only my opinion,

so don't take offence, haha!

Time to do some work.

Max.

Some say "How can God exist when All this evil stuff in the world keep persisting'?

Wrong question.

Ask again.

"How come God ain't' let you feel the wrath from sin? "

Coping mechanism.

2011-01-13T00:46:00.003+08:00

Have you heard my recent blog song?

If you haven't, well YOU Ssshould go and click play. =)

It's actually a really up lifting song when your day sucked.

I know it might sound really cliché to say this but,

I've been really wondering what's my purpose as a person.

School has been kind of a blur to me recently.

I just go in, get some knowledge, get some laughs and get out.

Sometimes there are a few low points during the day but so what!

Compared to the number of good things, it's minuscule.

However I really want to do something in school that makes the day fun.

Instead of wasting time observing how my classmates are awesome at basketball,

or listen to classmates complain about school life,

I want to do something different.

If there really isn't anything to do,

I'm gonna start bringing books and revision to school and study during break.

Wonder what I'm living for right now.

Woo! So emo. = =

But soon, I made a decision to get a Frisbee to spice up our breaks up.

I just hope people are willing to share and not hog it up.

And I hope people are gonna get off their butts and join in.

Alright God,

I leave it all to you.

Bring back the warmth and give me life.

Max.

I've been burning on energy that was meant to be directed differently, no wonder we find our selves empty, worn out and burnt out with how things have turned out, we've learned how to cope but this whole thing has broke down.

I need responsibility.

2011-01-09T00:15:00.004+08:00

My stats are all wrong... =(

Str 23

Agi 45

Dex 32

Vit 60

Int 50

Luk 12

Responsibility 8

Sigh, I need to add more responsibility from now on,

and maybe some strength. Haha!

There's no help with Luck.

I seriously can't believe it.

Woke up to a scolding cause my Dad found my school cafeteria coupon booklet in the wash.

I guess I did not check my pants' pocket thoroughly enough.

I left it in and it's now all mashed up. =(

I've been drying them.

I hope they'll be still usable,

if not that's like 150 Dirhams down the drain.

That's like throwing away 50 bucks. Ahhh, I hate my stats.

Today I started really studying!

Seems simple enough so far, nothing too difficult to understand.

So I hope this discipline goes on.

I've been hearing a lot about how Singapore is kinda cold now haha.

I've really been missing Singapore.

Everyone including myself keeps saying, "It's only one more year."

But, by saying that, it seems like a really long time haha.

So it's cold in Singapore huh?

Nice, I really want Singapore to have a winter.

Not snowy cold winter, but just breezy cold winter.

Something like what Abu Dhabi is experiencing now!

Ahh... enough thinking of Singapore.

Haha!

I've been getting into this game called Minecraft for a few months now.

It's really interesting when you play with your cousins in Singapore.

Another way of saying we are "Cyber hanging out" HAHA!

We are such nerds. = =

But it really is fun.

It shows that games don't need brilliant graphics.

And that with such simple mechanics,

it became such a big hit.

Even Joel thought it was kinda weird how the graphics were so bad.

But now he's more into the game than I am.

I'm really glad the games I introduce to people are played more by them than me.

It shows that there are similarities between us.

And that's a good thing.

Now I just need to discover a similarity between me and Jesse my other cousin.

We don't really hang out with him much when we were younger.

Probably cause he lives pretty far away, but that never stopped Ryan.

Jesse is quite amazing actually, he is amazingly smart.

He once went on a spelling game show in Singapore.

Amos, Ryan and I went to cheer him on as family.

Unfortunately he came in second, but still amazing!

I want to bond more with him.

Maybe next July! =)

Well, see you pretty soon!

Bur.

I've been thinking a lot about who we could have been,

if I was back home just chilling with you and all my friends,

but dear I'm gone.

Skull

2011-01-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine brought up this topic in class few months back.

At first I thought it was a pretty silly question,

but after considering and going deeper into it I really wondered.

Why do people go to school.

The only reasons I could give myself is that,

knowledge is power,

I want to have a comfortable life in the future and raise a family well,

and I have to if not I'll be cast aside by society.

Why do we humans make our lives so complicated.

What are we searching for?

What are we striving to be that we need so much education,

when we can't even get the simple moral values learnt.

We ask a kid simple questions like what you want to be when you grow up.

Some might say, doctor, lawyer or policeman.

But we never go deeper and ask, but why?

They may be naive to say,

they want to help people.

But seriously, would you spent the best years of your life in school.

And when you're finally free, you go to work and help people?

And when you are finally finally really free,

you are old, fragile person.

With tons of cash,

and yet...

Another reason may be that you want to raise a family.

But why???

You definitely know the hardships the 21st century has.

You really want to bring someone you will love so much into this world??

When you will only see them struggle to fit in with society.

Chasing after materialistic things.

Forever striving to be just like their father,

hoping that someday, they will have enough money to raise a family of their own.

But really...

I can't grasp the fact that people,

will try to hard, to get to the top,

climbing over other people's heads.

Finally reaching the top of the materialistic mountain and ...

I can't see what happens next?

All we humans want is a comfortable life.

With cash in our pockets so we won't grow hungry,

and clothes on our backs to keep us warm.

So, why do you go to school.

You get the money,

you choose to have a family or not.

And you die.

Haha, I love spending the best years of my life in a building,

how bout you?

Wilbur

Melancholy

2011-01-03T23:06:00.001+08:00

Not sure if I'm homesick.

Maybe I'm falling sick,

or jag lagged.

But I'm feeling down.

I can't get myself to do work.

I don't know.

God, help me.

Wilbur.

The end of the best year so far.

2011-01-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

My testimony,

It truly has been the best year of my 16 year old life

and I really really pray and hope so much this streak of awesomeness doesn't end.

It has been a legendary year, one to remember.

God has blessed me so much.

I've been given so much love and comfort.

And no, it does not make my loneliness and solitude anymore painful now.

I do not regret smiling,

I do not regret being joyful.

I said that when the holiday ended, I would reflect on how it could have been better.

But, really, I wouldn't change my stay in any way.

Nothing to regret,

and I thank God for that.

So, three years huh?

I've really come far.

I'm not the unsociable outcast I once were.

My eyes have never been so bright and opened.

I've seen things many wish to stay away from.

But, through those tribulations, I have awaken.

Is this your plan God?

Am I finally ready?

Can I finally say I am ready to love others?

And I thank it all to being sent away.

I was in the pits of Hell and I did not even know it.

Only when you've reached the surface do you know how deep you were.

And I am glad.

My name is Wilbur

and I really want to change my mistakes,

just give me time.

I really need all the time in the world.

Life's too short to correct when half of your life have been nothing but sins and mistakes.

So please...

I have bonded a lot with everyone last year.

Friends that weren't very nice to me at first.

Family members whom I've avoided for too damn long.

May their love and friendship brighten up my days to come.

Shine outward not inward.

And be a star.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone...

To JESUS!!

Wilbur.

Just got home.

2010-12-29T20:55:00.002+08:00

Woke up to a morning in Joel's house.

The air conditioning wasn't turned on the night before.

Surprisingly, it was fine.

I did not wake up drenched in sweat.

It was cooling.

Although I found it hard to sleep without a blanket.

I felt naked with covering myself up with a large fabric.

Furthermore, the door was opened.

Normally being closed due to the air conditioned air, it loomed an foreboding darkness.

Each time I woke up due to a chilly draft,

I looked around noticing Joel and Amos sound asleep.

My eyes met with the darkness and for a split second I was scared.

I looked away and rested my head on my pillow.

Without a blanket or a bolster to hug.

I looked around and found Bobo (Giant hamster plushie)

I took him and felt comfort in its warmth.

It was a long night.

Around lunch time, Daphine (Joel's girlfriend) came over to study.

I wanted to leave them alone so said I wanted to leave.

They insisted I should stay and study with them.

So I went home for awhile,

I took my books over

and studied. I guess.

It wasn't long before I lose concentration and interest.

And soon it was time for dinner.

And time to go home.

Thanks uncle John for the ride home.

It really wasn't necessary haha.

So, the boxing day blues are here to stay.

It lingers for awhile, till we actually have something to look forward to.

As for now, there isn't anything for me to look forward to before my final exams.

I just need more time,

I am not ready yet.

Please.

If I could rearrange the holidays,

I'd place the winter holidays after Christmas.

Cause there isn't really anything happy about the new year.

God bless everyone.

Wilbur.

Merry Christmas.

2010-12-24T08:16:00.002+08:00

The cozy feelings,

the warm smiles

and the joyful laughters.

I love it all,

so much,

I wouldn't change anything for the world.

This would be the first Christmas I've given so much presents.

This would be the first Christmas I've someone in my heart.

Maybe next Christmas I'd be able to give my heart away.

It should have been a dead giveaway,

but hey,

I don't mind at all.

I will cherish this moment,

I will love so much more that I'll be a shining star in the room.

I'll laugh and praise the lord so much that I'll cry tears of joy.

And be embarrassed but glad.

I really hope this Christmas is going to be a blast.

I really hope I'll remember this Christmas.

It has been great so far,

let's keep this going.

Perhaps everything is so real.

We are not waiting for a train,

we are on the train, together.

And we are going somewhere.

Thank you all for making my days leading up to Christmas fun.

It really has been the most memorable Christmas eve.

Boxing day will hit us hard with a gloomy cloud,

but just know why we were so joyful a couple of days ago.

Once again, thank you all.

For taking the time to bring me around.

I really hope everyone have a Awesome Merry Christmas and a Legendary New Year.

God bless

Wilbur.

Shiver

2010-12-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

I'm scared

Very scared.

What do I do now.

Okay, next week I'm going to study.

I have to.

Today was nice,

glad to have met the significant other of a very significant person in my life.

I wonder what the future holds.

I see a great future ahead.

But to achieve it,

there are going to be struggles.

Jihad,

I'm not afraid anymore.

I'm not afraid.

Wilbur.

I'm in Singapore

2010-12-22T23:42:00.001+08:00

What am I doing

The two halves of me a furthering

I need to focus on what I really want

What am I doing

It would be much easier if the two halves were in the same place

What am I doing

I need to stop and start again

What the hell am I doing.

let's go out!

2010-12-20T19:31:00.002+08:00

so hi everybody:) how are you? i stayed in joel's house last night and went to shop for christmas presents today. me and an awesome guy stayed over and went shopping with amos today. first we started of the day with watching a brain washing video about some perception thingy. which i still dont believe and still perfer the perception of pretty girls. lol. so we watched the perception of the world until some one came into the room and suddenly it becme awkward and me and ryan went outof the room to eat bao. really nice bao...mmmmm. then amos came home from training and we went out! the three of us amos ryan and me went out to get some presents while joel stayed at home cause he was sick and he had a visitor. so we wanted to go to the new mall which was nex. so we went there smiling and skipping, singing happy songs and saying "how you doing?" to almost everyone that walked by. so we took the mrt to new and walked around and found out that it wasn't really nothing much there. we then decided to go play some lan near plaza sing. once we got there we played mw2 and like a little l4d2. mw2 was awesome. so we played till 4 and went shopping, we went to ion and we wanted to go daiso, which ryan brought us like two rounds of the mall till we finally got there. we didn't buy anything and walked around even more till we got a message from joel. so we decide to go to to compass point to buy the presents. so we went there and buy the stuff and get went back. and now we're just in the room watching amos and joel play wow. so yupp

ps. this is ryan hehehehe:)

This is it.

2010-12-12T03:21:00.002+08:00

This is the climax.

I made a promise.

2010-12-09T19:48:00.005+08:00

The daze I had in the past with her,

got me pondering upon the ambivalence

of the term "forget and not slow down."

I don't think I'll be able to befriend all the ghost

that haunt me most, so that they leave me alone.

And move on with my life.

It's pains me to say,

that she resurrects the wretch within me.

and could be blinding depending on the amount of her I reflect.

I'm grateful that my memories are dying out at the pivot point of me,

but I'm sad that you remind me of them.

However.

You've never reminded them with words.

I'm sincerely gratified by that.

I pray that you will understand.

I know I've not been the best of friends,

considering I don't remember your youth.

But thank you for accepting that too.

Cause if you close your eyes and listen close,

you can hear that chapter close,

and it's better to be bound and kept closed,

than to be heard as one of those party jokes.

You may not be the best person to turn to for advice,

but no doubt you have the best ears for my cries.

It was just like old times,

where we would spend hours hearing each other's sighs.

Sometimes you are a sheep,

who wonders off and away.

I would tell you not to stray

and you'd listen and try to stay.

I know you have your fair share of problems.

I'd give you a mood ring if it weren't that weird,

Just for me to peak into your mind.

You're like an ancient artifact,

something I'm lucky to have found.

Sorry I did not dust you off,

that moment when you were found.

But everything had a reason,

and I'm glad that I took you down from the shelf.

And built a lasting friendship

that might turn some heads around.

I'm not sure if friend is an understatement

perhaps à l'avenir...

But right now it's all I want.

I'm concerned about how my future other half might feel,

when she reads this post of you.

Perhaps it's pretty awkward, but.

I swear this to you,

if my "destined" half can't accept my friends, family and you.

I'll turn away and rather suffer in loneliness and solitude.

Love is as destined as you want it to be,

and within my solitude I'll turn to you.

I'm having a death grip on the life I live.

Everyone I know are behind of me.

Every scream that comes, everyone would be listening to me.

For you, I'll let the memories sink in.

It's good to feel a sting now and again.

But I pray it's the last woeful thing I'll have to fight through.

You are the oldest friend to me.

By that I don't mean age.

And I hope.

Always hoping.

And when I return for Christmas.

It will be short and sweet,

Yet I know you'll be there cause you know I want you to be there

and we'll finally get to say hello.

And you'll be smiling so wide

and I'll sigh so relieved that we finally get to meet again.

The end.

Hope you liked it and see you soon.

Wilbur.

Humanity I laugh at it.

2010-12-09T01:52:00.004+08:00

Today had a bittersweet vibe.

You know how one bad experience during the day can ruin your entire day?

Well...

I'm not afraid of tackling the issue/debate about circumcision.

There are so many debates on one small little topic.

Yet people choose to explore and delve into it meaninglessly.

I'm not gonna say if it's wrong or right.

But why go into a topic that has certainly no benefits to you or others.

But today wasn't turned sour due to my body features.

It was due to the prejudgment of my body due to my race and culture.

A group of classmates of mine, started a discussion about circumcision.

I kept quiet through it.

A human asked around why do people not circumcise,

and gave the opinions on why humans prefer circumcision.

Then human turned to me.

But instead of asking me if I was circumcised or not...

Turned away, thinking that the answer was no.

The fact that I did not get the chance to share my opinions and views on the topic was...

Kinda shocking to me when that human

concluded that I wasn't circumcised cause I was "Chinese"

Yea, so now the impression of uninformed humans have on "Chinese" people is that we are not circumcised.

Well, first off.

Circumcision is different for everyone,

it isn't predicted or foretold by your race.

My mum's side of the family were circumcised

while my dad's side weren't.

Second,

I don't think it was right for anyone to judge a person base on their race, culture or religion.

Being uninformed is complacent and ignorant.

And third,

I wasn't circumcised because the Catholic Church is kinda against it.

I'm not going into detail why it is against it, go look it up.

It's amazing how humanity still has that bad habit.

Considered a bad habit in most cultures.

Having over 2000 years of correcting it yet didn't.

Wow.

I was really disappointed with that particular human being.

I was expecting better.

But hey, who am I to judge their capability of awareness.

On a lighter note!!

I think I did really well in ENGLISH WOOOHOOO!!

Wilbur.

The simple pleasures.

2010-12-07T22:03:00.005+08:00

Today was GODLIKE!!

Haha, it truly was.

Today probably would be the happiest day in my U.A.E arc.

Like a dream.

I don't want it to end,

and it won't depending on myself.

French Paper 2 was obviously better than last year's.

See that's a thumbs up.

I helped Harry in some errands today.

He may not be the most reliable person, but I can try to be one to him.

That's another thumbs up.

Physics was pretty good, I guess.

I believe I lost some marks naming the socket thingy ma jig.

But overall, I think I did pretty well considering to serious lack of revision.

I just don't see the importance or anxiety around a mock exam.

Sorry but, that's a thumbs down Wilbur, attitude poor. =(

Okay, well

Moving on...

I had a really nice bonding with everyone in school today.

Yousef and Hazza were surprisingly friendly and approachable today.

We laughed Hahaha, all the way to, erm.

Yea we laughed.

Also!

I had a good bonding with Yasmin I guess, Stefan and Zoe.

Stefan and I were talking about how alcohol makes you want to pee... I don't drink.

How he drives when his parent's aren't around.

How Miss Nix (My art teacher) goes to his house cause his mum teaches her how to do glass stuff.

And how he likes to do sailing haha.

I learned a lot about him today.

I'm really glad.

And Zoe and I had an amazing art lesson.

I shared with her some "PSP squirrels" and "Cyanide and Happiness" videos.

Some Sigur Ros and Explosions in the sky music (Thanks Rafeh)

Made her laugh a lot.

All in all we had a very fun time.

After she had left,

my Singaporean friend Andrew who is one year below me... year 10.

came along and sat down with me.

We were alone in the art room and had a really good old Singaporean bonding for the hour.

I pulled out my Singaporean accent, some singlish and mandarin.

I too learned a lot about Andrew today.

How he was born in Singapore,

but had to leave for India,

went to the U.K. and back to Singapore.

He wasn't really well versed in the culture, lol

what culture.

Well yea he wasn't a know it all of Singapore.

But it was fun while it lasted.

It's nice having someone to talk to.

Really cool guy and FREAKING STRONG. 51 Push ups and 20 Pull ups!!

Wowee Zowey!!

Haha.

Yea, the school day was over but certainly not the afternoon.

I got on the bus with Amina (girl from year 7) and Madison (girl from year 7 too)

I sat in my usual seat.

However, the love between my butt and the cushion did not last long.

A year 7 boy came up on the bus.

The first thing he said to me was "That's my seat, move"

He stared at me, sternly, fearless and determined.

His eyes pierce my fragile soul.

I was kinda shock at first that he had the guts to tell off a Year 11 clearly larger than he was.

Props for that haha.

But anywho...

I said "Opps, sorry I did not know."

I certainly did not, since I've been seating there for 3 years.

But I did not feel any anguish at all.

It felt good,

It made me feel like the bigger person.

I was delighted that I had moved and not reacted with a "**** off kid!"

Like my mum always says, even now... "It takes two to clap."

Well technically it takes one brain to tell both hands to clap but hey, no arguing here HAHA!

But seriously I felt a heavy load melt away.

So anyway, I stood up and went to the seat behind him.

Turns out that Amina and Madison were seating behind me.

Throughout the bus ride I would turn around from Singing to myself the song "(This is the end)"

and joined in with the conversation.

On one occasion, we were discussing love... LOL, year 7 wow!

So anyway, they asked me if I liked anyone.

I shared my opinions about love in the foreign country.

Since we were all migrants, we don't plan on staying here forever.

Thus, why cause misery for both genders when the inevitable end comes.

They asked what if it was destiny.

I said to them I don't believe in destiny.

Not giving a reason, I don't know why I never give reasons, I just don't.

I think of the best reasons showering.

I have a reason right now, why I don't believe in destined love.

"Love is as destined as you want it to be."

Madison and Amina were really friendly.

Madison gave me some gum, really awesome gum!! =D

The bus ride turned out more enjoyable than it would have been if I sat alone in front! Haha!

I even told myself when I moved that "Everything has a reason."

Hell Yea!!

When the journey had come to a halt,

Madison and I got off.

We were the only two today.

I walked off faster enjoying the breeze in my luxurious hair haha!

But when I turned around,

I saw her struggling to carry her lunch box, a bag, her muffins and her water bottle.

I walked back asking if she needed any help.

She was reluctant at first,

but I just took the muffins off her with a smile.

I want muffins!! HAHA!! JOKE! I did not take any of her muffins.

We had a really good chat along the way.

I walked her back to her apartment,

pushed the lift button,

handed over the muffins

and said goodbye.

I turned around and smiled.

I felt even better!

Ahh... the simple pleasures in life.

It isn't what happens to you during your life that causes you to experience great happiness.

But great happiness comes from acts of kindness you have done in your life for others.

Today was wonderful,

thank you God.

Wilbur.

I met the devil and I stared her in the eyes.

Her hair had scales like silver serpents.

I a statue, stood there mesmerised.

I took the fire escape and made it out alive.

Yeah I still burn from time to time but I've a healing hand against my side.

Fruits of the labour.

2010-12-07T02:04:00.005+08:00

Auugh what am I doing!??

I'm suppose to revise physics,

for mocks... haha so it's cool it's all coolio.

So this is my night so far,

just thought I share it with you peeps!

It has been simple.

I just realised that throughout my 16 years of life.

I don't know how to peel an orange.

Oh, and I drew a cow!

I'm kinda showcasing my awesome photography skills.

I'm not a showoff, no, I'm just showcasing. There's a difference Haha!

Well, good night everyone.

Good luck to everyone in their exams!

And God!! Bless us all cause we are sinners!!

Love you.

Wilbur.

Ooh ooh!!

Next post, I'm gonna try to give my opinions on this statement.

*drum roll*

"Is hitting a girl wrong?"

I look forward to it MUAAHAHA!!

Over and done with.

2010-12-06T20:18:00.002+08:00

Woot!

French speaking is off my list for another hmm, 4 to 5 months?

However, I really messed up in the speaking.

Good thing it was only the mocks HAHA...haha... ha. =(

Well, yea, I'm glad it was only the mocks.

If it were the real exam, I'd cry.

I completely blanked out in the first paragraph.

I hate one minute and I used it up stoned.

Great...

French Paper 1

Listening.

I knew I wouldn't do very well in the listening but I think I'll pull my grades up with paper 2.

No worries.

Not sure why I'm blogging,

but hey, just want to inform my reader how I was doing.

Note the singularity.

Tomorrow!!

Physics, need to remember formulas that's about it.

French paper 2? Well, I'll look through some vocab later.

Oh... man, I forgot.

I need to talk to Mr. Leach about my change in Geography.

It is the day when I fly off to Melbourne.

Well, that was a short post and update.

Hope to see my family and friends in Singapore soon.

Pray nothing will happen on the plane rides.

Wilbur.

Here again

2010-12-06T10:55:00.001+08:00

Once again

Disappointment.

2010-11-30T01:37:00.003+08:00

I wasn't the nicest person today.

I hope I'll be nicer tomorrow.

I'll try my best, tolerance and patience are a virtue.

I wonder if God had humanity all planned out.

If free will was our choice, did he know what choices we'd take?

If not.

God must be really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really

really disappointed in us. Including me especially.

Being blessed with all these gifts and materials, and I'm still a jerk, WOW.

Nothing else to say there.

I really hope I can become a better person by Christmas.

I know what my new year resolution is now. Woot.

Wilbur

Awesome quote.

2010-11-28T19:35:00.004+08:00

"For books are not absolutely dead things, but do contain the potency of life in them to be as active as that soul was whose progeny they are, nay, they do preserve as in a vial the purest efficacy and extraction of that living intellect that bred them. As good almost kill a man as to kill a good book. Who kills a man kills a reasonable creature, God's image, but he who destroys a good book, kills reason itself, kills the image of God, as it were in the eye."

-Milton John

The Hypocrites and The Wannabes

2010-11-26T02:07:00.004+08:00

P.S

Sorry for my earlier post, I wasn't at my best. After some thinking in the shower, I don't think I'm angry about the 5 AED, but angry about how easy of a pushover I am. I am weak, I need help, I need courage.

It's my macabre insights of people's insides that fills my head with blasphemy.

I had a slight yet decent argument/debate with my Dad while eating dinner last night.

I was against "first impression judgement".

My dad was for.

First impressions are useless and meaningless.

I would never get to know a person better if he or she is the type who prejudges from one encounter.

I wouldn't hang out with these kind of people.

Let's not talk about friends, or teachers.

What if you're going for an interview?

First impressions would count then.

I wouldn't apply for a job that has a boss who is as immature to prejudge someone.

A boss should be mature and wise enough to have the virtue of patience.

Who would want to work with someone who acts this way.

Not everyone have the same values as you.

Most bosses out there are only looking to make the most money.

They don't care about how people think about them.

I don't think you can call prejudging a value.

I think in every culture, it would be diminished.

And looked down upon.

This world isn't perfect.

Not everyone is like you.

Not as lucky as you and blessed.

...

Well.

Perhaps from that conversation,

I've blasphemed against everything I stand for and strive for.

It's all coming back, I'm my worst enemy.

I'm starting to wonder if my words have any meaning to them.

What if I'm just skin and bone, simplicity, having no mystery.

What if I'm an empty bottle.

I don't want to go back to awful hues of dismal views and pessimistic attitudes.

All this distance, years of sweet resistance.

Perhaps I've always been this way.

Wilbur.

I went blank.

2010-11-26T00:55:00.003+08:00

What the hell?!

Did that taxi driver just charmed me??

He cheated 5 AED of me!!

And the worst part of all I knew that he did not put it in.

Why did I just get out??

What's wrong with me??

This is going to ruin my night now.

I don't understand.

What just happened?

I'm so confused,

why did I just get out knowing I was 5 AED short?

What happened??

...

Nothing I can do now.

The only thing that can make me feel better right now is I get back another 5 AED.

But where...

Garhh I'm so pissed?

If it was a tip I'd give him 1 or 2 AED!

But I did not even give him a tip.

I even said to him erm,

this isn't 185 AED.

And he just smiled and nodded.

WTH?!

I'm so pissed right now.

I know it's only 5 AED but, why?

What kind of reaction did I give.

No more Mr. Nice guy.

I'm not tipping anyone anymore.

I'm gonna be so cheap it's going to piss everyone off.

GAHH!!

I don't get it.

5 AED man... I can buy 5 cokes with that...

sigh...

I will always remember he smug little grin.

like "Yes, I just cheated 5 dirhams from that dumb boy."

If I knew that he cheated me, why did I get out??

It's not the 5 AED that pisses me off.

It's the fact that I got out of the taxi without even pushing further.

....

I'm pissed.

Wilbur

The melancholy of Wilbur

2010-11-23T20:49:00.003+08:00

Here we go, one , big, SIGH!

What a ambivalent day...

I find myself choking the urge to fight.

Telling myself, it's okay, everything has a reason.

Today was gloomy,

I want a break, I want to sleep, I need water...

It's unfortunate but, everything has a reason.

And that reason has to be a really good one.

Do you realise God is one letter away from good haha!

It's finalised, I can't wear my awesome coolio hoody anymore.

Mr. Leach told me that Mr. Gale had banned it.

After school I went to Mr. Gale's office to find the reason.

He said it was too casual.

At that moment I wanted to purge my lunch on him.

But, I said "naah" and left.

On the way out I said thank you, like I've been given something.

Perhaps I was given a reason,

just not a very good one.

I don't like being a tattletale,

I find it so hard to stay quiet while I'm alone being persecuted.

I want to scream for liberty and equality.

The system is either blind or bias.

The two big "b"s in systems.

From tomorrow onwards I'm not allowed to bring my hoody anymore. =(

At least Mr. Gale said it nicely.

PSHE was bad once again.

I'm not trying to be so insincere,

It's they only way I learn to express myself, through people's description of life.

We had to go down to the book fair to look at books. Literally.

I told Mr. Leach I wasn't going to buy a book,

I told him I won't have time to read other books,

I told him that I don't want to go down.

I told him I would rather read my Statistic book.

But no.

We ended up going to the fair to find Wally.

Which we did =)

But that's not the point here.

For some reason I don't think Mr. Leach likes me ha ha.

It's not that I care what he thinks,

but do you know what it feels like to be ridiculed and put down at the start of the day?

Not very nice.

I'm quiet for the entire registration.

I ask one question, and it turns into a cat and dog fight.

It's astonishing how differently he treats others.

I'm afraid to go there, racism

and so I'll stay quiet and close one eye.

Well to end on a fairly better note.

The bus ride home was amazing.

One of God's way to say, "Hey Wilbur, I know your day sucked, so here you go."

With awesome music, awesome sunset and an awesome air-conditioning,

I guess it helped me calm down and find serenity in this crazy mix up world of ours.

I looked forward to writing this blog post and sang to myself. =)

As autumn turns it's back on me again, I climb the walls for oxygen.

Wilbur.

What a start.

2010-11-21T19:29:00.006+08:00

Today was... new?

I've noticed that most of my previous post are pretty depressing.

I don't want to down the vibe of my readers or ... reader. LOL

Yea, some people may be clairsentient.

So yep, I want to thank you all for being my marigolds.

It's nice to know that somewhere out there, someone understands me.

I woke up half an hour late today!

Normalment, Je me léve à six heures demi.

But today I woke up at 7. OMG.

I'm such a kid...

I depend on my dad to wake me up in the morning.

Okay tonight I'm setting my own alarm clock. Perhaps at 6:15 A.M. =)

I don't want and can't depend on my parents forever.

So why not start now?

Hehe... I'm awesome =)

So yea, it was due to my dad's alarm clock not going off.

He woke up about 6:50 and noticed he was late.

He must have told me to get up cause I heard a mumbling before I went back to sleep HAHA.

So yea, from 6:50.

My dad had started cooking.

While in bed, half-asleep, I figured something wasn't right, cause he would have called me up again.

I decided to get up by myself without a second calling.

I went to my table and waited for my vision to adjust and crap came out!

So I went to the kitchen and told my Dad the obvious and asked "Should I change?"

Haha!

What's wrong with me?

So anyway, we did our normal morning routine twice, no trice as fast.

Made it out of the house by 7:20.

We normally leave for school and work at 7 sharp.

But in the end I made it to class 1 minute before officially being labeled "late".

Cause it's like wrong.

I was wearing my winter uniform again.

... well, it's just a freaking awesome coolio hoody over my uniform.

But it's awesome, I love winter.

But as always Mr. Leach was the only teacher who had a problem with it.

Sigh.

I wanna know what's it like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent,

I wanna know how it feels like to be useful and pertinent and have common sense.

But I am "perfect", and I have learn to accept all my problems and short comings,

cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept.

So it beings.

2010-11-21T03:11:00.001+08:00

So what now.

I'll find my way.

2010-11-20T05:21:00.004+08:00

I wasn't very happy today.

I was smiling,

but I wasn't there.

Haas' mum was looking for summer camps for Haas.

She asked me where I was going for the summer.

I guess she did not know yet.

I told her that next summer,

I was going back to Singapore

forever.

...

I could hear,

in her voice,

she did not want me to go.

Perhaps I was Haas' first friend when he moved to Abu Dhabi.

I've known him coming to three years now.

It has always been like this.

Life, why do you separate me from everything I love.

In Primary school 1B, 2B, 3B, 4J, 5SD1, 6SD1, 1 Sincerity, 2 Sincerity, 9A, 9Bih, 10 Galeelah, 11 Galeelah...

What then.

I hate having best friends...

I hate creating bonds.

Why do we persist.

I'm sorry Haas, I'm sorry Haas' mum, I'm sorry everyone I've created bonds with.

Why am I so selfish.

I could stay.

I'm sorry family, I'm sorry friends awaiting my return, I'm sorry cousins.

I miss you so bad.

I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

It isn't even time to make my decisions,

but I do anyway... why.

Please, God

Please help me.

I'm so confused right now.

I hate making people sad.

Bonds.

Wilbur.

Help.

2010-11-18T03:55:00.002+08:00

God

What if I stayed.

2010-11-14T21:35:00.003+08:00

Woken up, the sky was gray.

I lay down once again, figuring it was a nightmare.

The previous days were tragic.

Once again, woken up from slumber.

I had accepted everything.

Do I fear, what comes next, would kill me.

Was following my constant fallacy wrong?

Perhaps I'd meet another one of them.

Mirrored of an angel in disguise.

The foreboding weather crashed.

I was pathetic.

Acceptance of a mistaken belief.

It is for the best.

I got dressed and said goodbye to you, my angel to be.

Oblivious I was, that one day you'd show me someone amazing.

I know you can't make me stay.

Sleep...

Perhaps, ever since then.

It was all a dream.

Holding on to that prayer.

I watched my life go by.

My friends, my family, my love.

Going back seemed to be a journey through time.

The changes, the remembrances.

But now I suppose.

Suppose, I stayed.

Suppose I went to school on that day.

Suppose I saw you again.

Suppose I met another angel.

Suppose I cried with someone

And suppose that I found my other half.

Suppose I studied hard.

Suppose I did not give in.

Suppose I loved the world.

Suppose I wondered about what would have happened if I had left.

What then.

Wilbur.

The Ridiculed Samaritan

2010-11-09T21:23:00.003+08:00

No, this story isn't about goodness.

It isn't about love or kindness.

It isn't about differences.

There is no moral to this story.

No, this story is about disappointed and regret.

There once was a good Samaritan.

The best in fact.

He helped anyone who sought it and even those who deny it.

He was kind and gracious,

popular with girls but never flirtatious.

He was wise and humble,

and so grateful and would never grumble.

Everyone looked for him,

when in a dilemma.

Everyone who'd come to him,

would go off better.

One day he asked a question,

probably not the best phrased.

Everyone stood silent,

neither awed nor amazed.

One burst out laughing,

a chain of scoffs tagged along.

One "wise man" ridiculed him

in a scornful way.

Without any remorse,

they spread the plague around.

Without even understanding

they judge him and put him down.

I was standing in the corner.

I was the average Joe.

I hid my face from the public

letting him be ridiculed.

I'm greatly remorse.

I've regretted not to jump in.

I took this time to let my feelings settle in.

It's amazing how people come to you in need

and you helped them without greed.

They thank you with hollow smiles

and scoff at you when in no trials.

"Wise" men say you're arrogant

acting as if they're belligerent.

What ever happened to the ridiculed Samaritan.

Sorry Rafeh, sorry I could not speak up for you.

Wilbur

My dreammare.

2010-11-05T20:19:00.003+08:00

My class had to find poisonous or dangerous objects around my Singapore neighbourhood, for some reason we were outside my house, and the strange thing was that everyone was doing Parkour to get around, and so was I. I was ecstatic, I had incredible strength and speed, the only downside was that everyone had it too.

I kept running and jumping everywhere I went, I got to my neighbour's house that I've never spoken to; they were an Indian family, I would always walk by their house when I was going for a jog along the river. They had metal construction pipes outside their house it was embedded into the ground and connected to form some kind tall structure. For the fun of it, I wanted to see how strong I had become; I climbed to the top of the structure. When I had reached the top, I looked around, the scenery was pleasant.

I was overjoyed that I had conquered my first climb. Unfortunately the tower of pipes started to shake. To make matters worse, the Indian family got home in their car, they got out and the mother of the family started shouting at me, they looked terrifying, like they were going to catch and eat me. I jumped down and made a dash for another block and ran to the 4th story.

When I had reached the top, I saw the Indian family's little girl walking down. She passed me, calmly stepping down each step. I was wondering why she was there, for an unknown reason, my eyes followed her out of curiosity, my body followed her down on flight of steps, peaking at her, wondering what she was up to. I kept looking at the six year old girl hoping that she would not look back at me. My dream turned into a nightmare, the little girl turned around with petrifying eyes almost monster like. Our eyes met for a split second, she turned around and stormed down the remaining flights of steps. Her speed was incredible, she ran down the stairs and straight back home to tell her parents where the kid who was playing on the pipes was. I ran down too, I ran in the opposite direction hoping to get away before the kid had reported back to her parents. Abruptly, time stopped around me, I was still conscious, next I felt myself being pulled back, immensely fast. I woke up in bed. Heavy breathing. Calming myself down, saying "it was only a dream, it was only a dream."

Chap lips and Chap sticks.

2010-11-01T23:41:00.006+08:00

Hot and dry weather,

causes my lips to dry, crack and turn red.

Ouch.

Went downstairs yesterday,

turns out there was a pharmacy below my apartment, haha who knew!?

Well, I should, cause whenever I order food I'd always say, Al Ghadia Pharmacy 401.

I'm a boob.

Anyways, running was simply awesome today.

Only two year 11s were there, Haas and I.

We had to run a long distance of 6km I think?

I did not stop the first run towards the end, and I took short stops the second run back.

No idea why the running back to school part was much more difficult.

It was like there was a sweet resistance of wind always pushing me back.

It was hot and I had to hold my bottle of water.

My legs were giving way.

So anyway I was like 3 minutes behind Haas haha.

That's not bad, few more runs and I might be able to improve!

I like running...

My ancestors ran a lot, you know... Africans!

Haha. Believe what you want. I'm awesome.

So anyways, to get back to my DEEP DEEP DEEEEEP roots.

I'm going to read a biography of a MAN!

A man who blew the people's minds.

The one and only Nelson Mandela.

It's a big big big book, and I intend to finish it before the new year =\

I hope.

I started "reading"

I feel smarter already.

Gwah! I'm so self-conscious.

Not to the extreme as my buddy Haas. Hahahaas.

But really, I don't like people having the impression that I read cause I use to think it's nerdy and anti-social.

Especially when you read in a corner during break.

But sometimes, wasting your entire break listening to classmates talk about alcohol, sex and drugs.

Isn't really productive.

I get the impression that I'm very different than most teenagers.

Is that a good thing?

Hmm. I guess people who don't fit in would think it's a good thing,

while people following the crowd would think that it's anti-social.

Can't get enough of Motion City soundtrack,

I'd listen to all 4 albums at once.

It's nice. =)

Savannah - Relient K

Wilbur

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers.

2010-10-31T00:41:00.003+08:00

Hey people!

Guess what,

I am a highly effective teenager!

As from now I am.

So whenever you meet me.

Remember that I'm highly effected and not ineffective.

Haha.

Yes!

Finally finished the book and I got to say it was worth it and worth the time.

It was really eye opening

and I may know most of these habits through life experiences,

but it's always nice to check the list of how to live a awesome life.

I'm not perfect,

no one is,

and it sure helps when there's a guide book to life.

I was "Legend" before I read this book, and now I've added the "dary".

And it feels awesome.

You can't make footprints in the sands of time by sitting on your butt.

And who wants to leave butt-prints in the sands of time?

-Bob Moawad