English Literature exam tomorrow.
It's currently 11:28 PM.
I'm playing Two Door Cinema Club
while my bro is playing Phoenix Wright on his Iphone.
Woke up this morning.
I had dreamt that I had a little brother of the age of 2.
His name is Wesley according to my brother and I.
Wesley is a cool name =)
Headed off to morning mass,
the priest... I couldn't understand a word.
His accent was just incredible.
Life has been getting mundane.
Probably due to the exams and everyone stressing out.
I "shate*" mundaness...
(So hate)
Later in the day I headed over to Ethan's house for EL lit tuition with his mum.
She was incredibly friendly =)
Hmm...
One question that she asked during dinner was about the future job thing.
Honestly, I don't really know what I want to do.
Everyone keeps insisting I study and earn big bucks for the future.
Big bucks, cash, the lettuce...
Why are we so dependent on it.
"To raise your family" he says.
What family...
I say,
With God's love,
is it not enough?
Is it possible for me to live alone.
What is this wanting for companionship?
What is the source and can I remove it?
There are millions who need and seek this love I have, and I'm so far away.
Can a priest love others and his fellow man,
if he himself is not in love.
How can he understand families and their troubles.
Something to think of.
"Never stop thinking" he says.
I agree.
My mind has been too passive lately.
Accepting the way things are,
not questioning constantly anymore.
In fact I kinda miss the arguments my Dad and I had.
I knew so little, and yet I tried to understand too much.
But...I feel so....
The more I understand, the more dormant I become.
The more I understand, the less questioning I become.
The more I understand, the anxiety is no longer there.
The more I understand, I am blend and emotionless.
The more I understand, the more boring my life gets.
The more I understand, I question why to live if life is about learning.
The more I understand, the harder it is to find myself once again.
The more I understand, I am no longer the Wilbur I once knew.
Bur.
Labels: This Is Me
* Yours Truly Wilbur * ---- Sunday, October 2, 2011 11:27 PM
